


dear, Taeyeon

by shakiseola



Category: IU (Musician), f(x), 소녀시대 | Girls' Generation | SNSD
Genre: F/F, Fic Dump
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:54:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 26,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23749474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shakiseola/pseuds/shakiseola
Summary: Collection of all my Taeyeon-centric stories and ficlets, all for the love of Taeyeon.Latest: Yoontae / Taeyeon and her favorite
Relationships: Im Yoona/Kim Taeyeon, Jung Sooyeon | Jessica/Kim Taeyeon, Kim Taeyeon/Lee Jieun | IU
Comments: 16
Kudos: 47





	1. I Don't Wanna Come Down from your Love

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. [**I Don’t Wanna Come Down from your Love**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23749474/chapters/57038860) — _Taengsic/Dream AU_
> 
> 2\. [**come to me baby**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20791631) — _Yoontae/Ideal Type_
> 
> 3\. [**Draw It Again**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21593209/chapters/51485926) — _Taengstal/Childhood Friends AU_
> 
> 4\. [**Eyes Locked, Hands Locked**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21395302) — _Taeyeon/IU/Secret Relationship_
> 
> 5\. [**Love Poem (Titled You)**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23749474/chapters/64611937#workskin) — _Taeyeon/IU/Secret Relationship Part ii_
> 
> 6\. [**As Good for Me as You**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23749474/chapters/66259964) — _Taengsic/HSM-Musical-Theater AU Part i_
> 
> 7\. [**To be Seen, To be Heard**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23749474/chapters/70882827) — _Taengsic/HSM-Musical-Theater AU Final Part ii_
> 
> 8\. [**My Favorite Moment**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23749474/chapters/71452215) — _Yoontae/Taeyeon and her favorite_

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dreams were their second chance.
> 
> or
> 
> Taeyeon tries to forget. Jessica makes her remember.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from Ten's song Dream in a Dream

_I’m staying up_

_I don’t wanna come down from your love_

_We’ll get lost together_

_Let me flow_

_Don’t ever let me come_

_Down from your love_

_From your love_

When they finally met again, Taeyeon didn’t think it’d be this way. She imagined a less cliché scenario— one where one of them would give in to a phone call maybe. Taeyeon would probably accidentally dial Jessica’s unchanged number while heavily plastered. But her bet on who would call first was actually on Jessica and not herself.

Jessica was always braver, not to mention the one with a working brain between them two ( _read: nine_ ). But the call never came. Taeyeon kept sober, Jessica stayed practical.

It wasn’t enough to prevent Taeyeon from imagining— keyword, _imagine_ — their eventual re-meeting. Even so, no scenario from her weird, incoherent, mind could ever compare to this.

Taeyeon was sitting inside her favorite coffee shop with her leather-bound notebook wide open on the rustic table, trying to come up with a new song. It was time to write again, she thought. 

The café was oddly quiet, sure it was known for its privacy, the main reason Taeyeon frequented the place. She looked around and realized why— there was no one else inside except for her. No other customers, not even a barista in sight, just a weird white haze from outside the window seeping into the dusty lit space.

Until the bell above the front door rang and its echo broke the quiet of the room, signaling a new person. Taeyeon excitedly turned around to get a glimpse of whoever they were. Contrary to what most people thought— as solitary of a person as she was — she was equally as open and receptive to human companionship. 

With just one glance, Taeyeon knew that the person, a woman, was beautiful. Not just the typical cosmetic glamour she’s grown accustomed to in the industry. No, this woman was other-worldly and yet also very familiar. 

That perfect curve from her cheekbones dipping into lips that were formed into a straight line with no trace of a smile. Until Taeyeon moves her gaze up and makes direct eye contact. Those sharp, ice barred eyes were definitely more than familiar.

“Sooyeon,” Taeyeon breathed out, saying her name like a prayer, breaking the silence for the second time around.

Jessica’s eyes widen comically in recognition. “This isn’t my office,” she quickly supplied before exiting the shop.

Taeyeon sighs, not knowing how else to react or even process what just transpired. When she was finally almost able to convince herself that the earlier events were just a figment of her imagination, the door reopens and in came Jessica once more. 

“Wha—“ Just as fast as she re-entered, Jessica turned around again to exit only to pop right back in.

This goes on for a few more times like a loop. But it always ended up the same way, with Jessica sprawling back inside the shop. Taeyeon knew that the other woman would attempt another exit even if it seemed impossible, to the point that she noticed the other girl’s breath was starting to get labored. 

Taeyeon thought it was time to put some sense into her before she exhausted herself further. “I would stop doing that if I were you,” she spoke softly, not wanting to frighten the woman.

The other woman was silent before finally looking in her direction and locking onto Taeyeon’s eyes. “Thank goodness I’m _me_ and not you then,” Jessica sarcastically quipped. _Typical_ , Taeyeon thought.

“Can you please cut the attitude for once and sit down? You’re giving me secondary fatigue just from watching.”

“Then stop watching,” she bit back immaturely.

Taeyeon was preparing herself for a full on argument like the kid she was but turns out she didn’t need to as Jessica tentatively took the seat across from her despite the earlier protest. Taeyeon had to bite the inside of her cheek to stop herself from smiling cheekily. 

Even after all these years, Jessica would still listen to her.

“How are you so calm right now? Sitting there like none of _this_ is weird,” Jessica emphasized, gesturing her hands around the room.

Taeyeon shrugs. “I just prefer not to aimlessly tire myself out. I’d rather think about the situation without doing any rash actions.” She didn’t know why she kept digging when she knew it would rile up Jessica even more.

Jessica wanted to lash back, honestly Taeyeon wanted to hear it like the masochist she was. But Jessica didn’t do any of that. Instead, she kept quiet and eyed Taeyeon’s cup of coffee sitting idly on the table, untouched.

“Where can I get one of those?” Jessica pointed at the beverage. “Actually you know what? I need something stronger, like wine maybe.”

“Why would you want to drink wine this early in the morning?” Sure, Taeyeon knew how much the other girl loved her alcohol but it was barely even nine in the morning.

“What do you mean, it’s like a quarter to seven in the evening. That’s the perfect time to drink wine and don’t even try to argue, I’m the connoisseur here.”

Now that made Taeyeon’s forehead furrow, how did they have almost the exact opposite interpretation of time? Taeyeon brought her wrist up to check her watch only to find its clock hands going haywire in a circle continuously.

“What the fuck?”

Jessica noticed and did the same thing, checking her own watch. It was in the same condition as Taeyeon.

“What the hell is going on?”

Taeyeon had no answer, she was as clueless as Jessica. She tried looking around again, it didn’t register in the beginning but it was really weird that white mist was floating just below their legs like a fog machine was coughing it up somewhere in the room. But cafes don’t have fog machines, do they?

A curious look to her coffee made her notice how the swirls of milk from the latte art kept spinning like a spiral. She’s pretty sure lattes never did that, it looked like an animated picture. 

The puzzle started to shift and click in Taeyeon’s mind. The mist, the zero company, the latte.gif, and the arbitrary time. She sounded like the lead character in a philosophical book now but she’s pretty sure she’s figured it out.

“I think…” Taeyeon starts tentatively, unsure, “I think this is a dream.”

“That’s an idea,” Jessica deadpans and reaches out for the forgotten latte, manners be damned— she’s lived with the girl for years in the past after all. The shameless girl took a sip then suddenly frowned apprehensively. 

“You said this was coffee.”

“Uhh… because it is?”

“Then why did I taste a _2018 Ornellaia_ just then?”

Taeyeon took the mug and drank as well then raised her eyebrow. “It’s coffee for me,” she shrugged for the second time.

Jessica simply blinked multiple times before resigning herself further into the padded seat.

“Well then…” she starts. “We have three options here. A, your taste buds are whack—“

“Hey, why are you bringing my taste buds into this? What if it was your taste buds that are abnormal! Which is completely believable because you drink wine like five times a day! They can probably only register the taste of wine now.”

“Okay, you did not need to bring my possible alcohol dependence into this. Now listen will you.”

Taeyeon noncommittally gestured for her to continue, her stubborn demeanor refusing to go away.

“B, either of us is tripping so bad that a hallucination like this exists—“

“Probably you…”

Jessica sent Taeyeon an icy glare, warning her to shut up. Taeyeon just gulps and squirms in her seat.

“—C, please know that it pains me to admit this… but your dream theory may be correct.”

Taeyeon abruptly stood up at that moment, her seat scratching noisily against the wooden floor before making a show of clapping slowly. When else would she be able to hear Jessica actually agree with her that she was right?

“You are _insufferable_.” 

All Jessica remembers as she gets pulled out of the dream—abruptly and ridiculously agonizing— and is unceremoniously plunged back into reality was a simple, proud, dimpled smile on another girl’s face. Jessica groaned as she stretched from her awkward position on the couch. The power nap that was supposed to re-energize her instead made her body feel heavy with lead and confused for some reason. 

Confused because that smile was all too familiar and yet she wasn’t ready for its implications.

She couldn’t be back to dreaming about her again. _She just can’t._

\--

Even before Jessica opened her eyes, she just knew it was already like the last time they saw each other. And just like before, Taeyeon was already present before her as if she was just calmly waiting for Jessica’s arrival and not anyone else’s. 

“It’s you again.” 

Jessica swears she’s nicer than this. But something about the way Taeyeon just openly stared at her in turn made Jessica feel vulnerable. And whenever she felt exposed, she automatically puts her walls up, anything to protect herself.

After a beat, Taeyeon finally breaks their staring contest and replies, “I’m glad to have graced your presence with mine then.”

“That doesn’t make sense.” Jessica’s forehead knitted together. “Like, _at all_.”

“It’s a dream, it’s not supposed to make sense. Anything can happen here,” she says accompanied with a shrug.

“Right, because you’re the dream expert and all that.”

“Yes and from now on, you are only to refer to me as Doctor Kim Taeyeon, dream specialist.”

“You’re ridiculous.” Jessica wanted to say it with spite but her ensuing laughter does nothing to accompany the sentiment, Taeyeon laughing along.

Only when the laughter dies down does Jessica take the chance to look around. Only then did she realize where they were— or rather what their dreamscape decided to look like. The backdrop could only make her snicker in barely concealed annoyance.

“Seriously, who conjures up these dreams for us? The old dormitory balcony? Really?” Jessica inquired with her head tilted up to the sky, as if a higher deity could explain this sick joke.

It wasn’t just any balcony, it was a place loaded with memories and deeper meanings. Where the girls used to confide with each other even with the brusque, chilly air around them. But most importantly, where Taeyeon and Jessica last spoke at; a sort of symbolic beginning of the end.

And just like the memory—so clear and vivid—it was Jessica who walks into the balcony yet again, Taeyeon sitting on top over the railings. It used to scare her and the girls a lot when Taeyeon did this, it was reckless and yet she stubbornly assured them she wouldn’t let herself fall or get hurt.

“One day, you’re going to lose your balance and actually fall off that thing.”

“Better happen in this dream then. At least I would end up just reliving a nightmare and maybe then would I stop endangering myself like this.” 

“Typical, cynical, Kim Taeyeon.” 

Jessica shakes her head but walks the short distance between them and stands next to the other girl, carefully leaning her weight on the metal rail lest she made them both fall into their demise.

“That’s me.”

A comfortable silence fell between them. Neither one tried to break the solitude. It was something the two girls haven’t had the pleasure of experiencing for quite some time. 

But being here right now, in the balcony of their old dormitory, brought back a lot of thoughts they tried so hard to lock away. It was as if the dream gods planned for all of this to happen. To paint them a memory suspended in time and forcing them to relive it.

For whatever reason that Jessica didn’t want to understand.

Jessica knew she had to say something. She was already planning a speech in her head until Taeyeon beat her to it.

“I should have fought harder to make you stay,” Taeyeon says, finally breaking the silence. “In this same place but in a different time and night. I should have just asked you to stay.”

The words sink into Jessica’s skin and thoughts, the unheard message that she could still clearly understand.

_I’m sorry._

It was a silent apology, one that Jessica thought would never be uttered first by Taeyeon. A reconciliation that both girls have craved and tried to regain throughout the years but were too scared to act on it.

Jessica’s throat closes up against her will. She choked, trying to utter something, anything. But all that came out was a pained whimper.

Taeyeon looked down at her in concern. Jessica didn’t like that look, it was too raw. It reminded her of the younger Taeyeon who worried about her a lot, who still _cared_. But maybe, that Taeyeon still existed after all.

Still unable to talk, Jessica slides her arm around Taeyeon’s waist, locking her into a half embrace. The other girl almost loses her balance at the sudden gesture but Jessica tightened her arms around Taeyeon instead.

“Don’t fall.”

“I already have.”

Jessica didn’t hear Taeyeon’s last words as their dream started to dissolve again. This time, both of them were plummeting downwards from the building. Instead of feeling dread, Jessica felt liberated as she continued to let the descent consume her.

\--

It took Taeyeon five awkward sips of her iced americano before Sunny finally broke.

“I’ve had enough,” Sunny suddenly announces. “I know you love coffee and all but I can see how hard you’re forcing yourself to stay up all the time now.” She sighs, exasperated, “What’s bothering you, Taeyeon?”

Taeyeon’s hand on her fifth cup freezes mid-air, seemingly caught in the act. “Wh-What do you mean Sunkyu-ah?” An awkward chuckle that even makes herself wince.

“Stop playing dumb.” Sunny’s look softens. “It’s me, Taeyeon. You know you can tell me anything.”

Taeyeon winced a second time, hating the tone of hurt tucked in between her sentence. She never meant to hurt anyone.

A sigh. “I’m sorry, you’re right.” She tiredly rubs her face and finally leaves the coffee cup on the table. “I just haven’t been sleeping much lately.”

Sunny chortles. “You don’t fucking say. Anyone could tell with just one look at the dark lines below your eyes, Taeng-ah.”

The leader squirms in her seat, obviously not expecting that anyone else noticed. She thought she was able to hide everything with make-up. But then again, nothing could pass through Sunny’s eagle eyes whenever it concerned her members and for the fact that make-up wasn’t exactly her forte.

“So?” Sunny prods and Taeyeon just stares at her dumbly, unable to catch her earlier sentence. Sunny noticed and repeated for her sake. “Why aren’t you sleeping, Taeyeon-ah?”

Oh, right. Sleep, they were talking about Taeyeon’s lack of sleep the past week. It’s not that she couldn’t fall sleep, she just refused to. She’s practically done everything to stay up, coffee, energy drinks, taking in more schedules just to be busy.

“I don’t want to sleep… because I have these dreams.” Taeyeon only stared blankly at her abandoned drink, the melted dew slightly pooling around it on the table. 

“You’re having nightmares again?” Sunny worriedly inquires.

Taeyeon shakes her head. Honestly, she’d prefer the nightmares over these new dreams she’s been having the past few days. Or maybe not, those nightmares were horrible.

“No, not nightmares.” Taeyeon could see Sunny visibly sigh in relief. “Just… dreams.” She didn’t know how else to put it. “Don’t worry, I usually forget them quickly right when I wake up anyway.”

“That doesn’t explain why you refuse to sleep.”

Because… even if she couldn’t remember the dreams, she knew who it was about. And she just can’t, she couldn’t be dreaming of her again.

At Taeyeon’s lack of response, Sunny could already guess what was going on, she was perceptive that way. “You’re dreaming about her again, aren’t you?” She says gently, not at all accusingly, like it was completely normal and okay that this was happening.

Taeyeon slowly nods unable to lie. “I didn’t want to. I don’t even know why this is happening.”

She thought she was successful with erasing all memories of her. Maybe not erased fully, but repressed because whenever she remembered, all she could feel was the hurt. The pain of being left behind like that. She couldn’t bare it before, she still couldn’t now.

Sunny reaches out and takes a hold of Taeyeon’s hand. It was then that she realized, it wasn’t only her who was still hurting. Every one of them were, one way or another. 

“You said you forget the dreams right after, how’d you know it was about her?” Sunny rubbed gentle circles on Taeyeon’s hand.

“Because… after the first dream, I felt like something was immensely missing,” Taeyeon smiles sadly through her words. “It was the same way I felt when… when she left,” —Or when the company cut her off, whichever narrative fit best.

“Have you maybe thought,” Sunny starts gently, “that you have these dreams because one or both of you are constantly thinking of the other?” She said it like she knew something else Taeyeon wasn’t aware of. But then again, she was the only member who hasn’t re-established her connection with Jessica.

Taeyeon looked away, unable to hide her expression. “Maybe you’re right.”

\--

“So this is weird,” Taeyeon starts awkwardly.

She hears a melodic chuckle. “You don’t say. Always very eloquent Ms. Kim.”

Taeyeon rubs the back of her neck, oddly feeling flustered over being called _Ms. Kim._

“Hear me out,” she almost whines and earns another unapologetic chuckle before Jessica hums for her to go ahead. “Just, how are we both at work—in a god forsaken dream—and just calling each other on the phone like this?”

Jessica sighs over the phone. “I don’t know, Taeyeon-ah. I’m as clueless as you.” 

Taeyeon could perfectly picture the other girl sighing deeply and looking out the glass window of her office. Assuming she was at her company right now just like how Taeyeon was in a green room by herself and waiting for a variety show to start where she was invited as a guest. 

She had a hunch that the show would never start though. It was always like that in their dreams. There was a narrative in each one but it served no other purpose than to force the two estranged girls to properly talk. Taeyeon didn’t know if she wanted to thank or punch whoever made these up.

If she was being honest, Taeyeon kind of had an idea why they were on the phone right now instead of talking one-on-one. She decides to be open for once.

“What if…” she felt shy suddenly, “What if this dream is a manifestation of my deepest desires and subconscious?” She remembered her talk with Sunny vividly and how her friend implied the same thing.

“What do you mean?” Jessica sounded so uncertain, Taeyeon couldn’t blame her.

“It’s just that I’ve always wanted to call you, Sica,” the nickname naturally falling out of her lips. “I just never had the courage to ever act on it.” She shrugged then realized Jessica couldn’t see her right now.

It was so quiet on the other line that Taeyeon would have thought Jessica hung up on her if not for the soft breaths she could hear from the other girl through the phone. Taeyeon was starting to panic that she said something wrong and was about to take back her words and make a lame joke to cover it up until Jessica spoke up.

“You did actually. One time,” Jessica said so quietly, like she was unsure whether she wanted to divulge.

“Huh?” Taeyeon dumbly replied.

She felt herself blush when she hears Jessica laugh softly again. It was a sound she missed dearly, hell she missed Jessica a whole lot more.

“You were drunk,” Jessica says.

“Of course I was.” Taeyeon rubbed her temples, she feels like this story was going to be embarrassing. “What did I say?”

“It was just three words.” Taeyeon could feel the teasing smirk on her ex-member’s face.

“Oh my god…”

“Not those three words, idiot.” Another chuckle, Jessica was enjoying this too much. “You told me you missed me and then abruptly hung up before I could even say anything back.”

“O-Ohh…” Jessica wasn’t wrong, Taeyeon really was an idiot. “Why don’t I remember anything though? And I’m pretty sure I’d have freaked out the next morning seeing your name on my call logs.”

“Ahh that…” This was the first time Jessica sounded guilty somehow. “I asked Yuri to delete your call log afterwards.”

“Oh,” Taeyeon sounded—sad? Disappointed? “W-Why?”

There was another pause before Jessica finally spoke again. “I didn’t want you to remember,” she said at last.

Taeyeon understood, she really did. They were just too similar that way. It felt like they knew each other the best because of it but at the same time they don’t. They clash, they misunderstand, but in the end they weren’t so different after all.

She used to want to erase everything. Maybe not anymore.

“I think… I think I want to remember,” Taeyeon declares and that’s all Jessica does recall once she abruptly wakes up again.

 _I want to remember_.

Me too.

\--

They’re more honest in their dreams. Maybe that was the reason for all this, for them to have a platform to actually talk without any walls in between them anymore. No uncertainty whether the other girl wanted the same thing or not.

It was just so much easier to be with Taeyeon like this.

“What does this one mean?”

“ _F_ for Fine,” Taeyeon’s breath hitches when Jessica gently traced the inscribed lines of ink on Taeyeon’s skin. “My song,” she added.

“I know it’s your song, Taengoo.” Her voice sounded like a smile. Taeyeon wasn’t making any sense, probably because Jessica’s touches successfully fried her brain cells. “It’s one of my favorites from you actually.”

“You listened to my songs?” Taeyeon swallowed harshly when Jessica glared at her like she was saying _‘What do you think, idiot?’_

“Of course I do.” She then pulls out Taeyeon’s thumb from her fist where the letter ‘I’ was imprinted. “ _I_ for your debut song.” Taeyeon almost blacks out when Jessica reaches out and brushes her fingers on her nape. “And my current favorite, Purpose.”

Taeyeon shouldn’t have been as surprised as she was. If she learned anything from the past few dreams, it seemed that Jessica mirrored the same thoughts and longings as Taeyeon after all. And it wasn’t a secret that Taeyeon not only listened to every single album Jessica released but even kept physical copies of it on her shelf.

“Fitting that you favor Purpose over my other albums,” Taeyeon chuckled when Jessica tilted her head to the side cutely. 

“Of course it’s my favorite.” She smiles in a way that makes the blood rush to Taeyeon’s cheeks. “It’s a whole album about _me_ after all.”

Taeyeon almost chokes on her own spit but covers it up as a scoff. She was blushing now and it seemed to amuse Jessica to no end. The leader couldn’t deny anything, not when it was the truth.

Jessica liked this Taeyeon a whole lot.

“I mean,” Jessica starts, “Wine? Really?” But she didn’t sound condescending, she was more teasing rather.

“Wine is great,” Taeyeon defends even if she preferred a simple bottle of grapefruit soju over any other expensive alcohol out there. But then again Jessica’s tastes were always more… refined than hers.

“Duh? Tell me something I don’t know.” There was mirth in the other girl’s brown eyes. “But what we both know is that _I’m_ the wine girl around here.”

Taeyeon’s silence just confirmed everything for Jessica and she was internally jumping up and down of happiness. God, did she love an honest, albeit flustered, Taeyeon.

When Jessica finally sobered up, she reaches out and cups the back of Taeyeon’s neck again. She could feel the soft hairs at the base of her scalp, the tingles she seemed to ignite onto Taeyeon’s skin.

She leans forward and whispers onto Taeyeon’s ear. “Am I still your vintage love?” She presses her lips onto the Pisces tattoo behind the other girl’s ear.

“You’re…” Taeyeon didn’t stop Jessica’s advances. “You’ll always be my love, vintage or novel. It’s you.” She could feel Jessica’s lips on the corner of her mouth now. “It’ll always be you, Sooyeon.” 

Taeyeon didn’t stop Jessica from sealing their lips together. She let her, and in turn kissed her back softly. There wasn’t any rush, just the gentle press, moving against each other. Jessica pulls her impossibly closer, her fingers moving from her nape to thread through Taeyeon’s locks. 

Once Taeyeon felt the soft swipe of Jessica’s tongue on her bottom lip, she swears she could taste the sweet flavor of wine.

\--

She felt warm. 

A hand continues to comb through her hair gently, making her feel even more content. Taeyeon snuggles her head deeper into the warmth like a puppy. She hears a distinct laugh and it was enough to make her stir and open her eyes slowly.

Once her vision settled, the sight of Jessica bathed in a halo of light greets her. She was looking down with a soft smile on her face. Taeyeon was simply mesmerized.

“I didn’t know someone could sleep while in a dream,” Jessica says quietly, “Until I met you that is.”

Taeyeon closes her eyes again and settles into Jessica’s lap comfortably once more. Jessica resumes her earlier task of gazing at the beautiful work of art looking so serene and content. She couldn’t help but lean down and steal a kiss. The other girl smiling once she pulls back.

“Sometimes I feel like we’re a dream in a dream,” Taeyeon tells her without opening her eyes.

“A dream in a dream,” Jessica smiles at the poetic wording. “It definitely feels like it,” she agreed.

“I think…” Taeyeon starts.

“That’s dangerous.” 

Taeyeon’s eyes fluttered open this time to narrow and glare up at Jessica. 

“Shut up and let me finish.” Jessica chuckles but does as she’s told. “I feel like something is ending,” Taeyeon says cryptically.

Jessica nodded slowly, she actually felt the same way. It was evident in the way their time together seemed to get shorter and shorter. Their dreams getting lesser and lesser.

“I get what you mean,” Jessica says. “The dreams— they’re ending aren’t they?”

“I don’t want it to end.” Taeyeon shields her eyes with her arm. “I don’t want to forget our dreams,” her voice cracked this time. “I don’t want to forget you, Sooyeon-ah.”

Jessica’s chest clenched, at the sight and at Taeyeon’s implications. She gently touched Taeyeon’s elbows and moved her arm away revealing tear tracks on the other girl’s cheeks. This was a girl who rarely cried in front of anyone not because she didn’t want to show weakness but because she knew it would break the hearts of anyone who ever saw her like this.

And Jessica’s heart did just that, shattered. But she couldn’t let it end like this, she didn’t want another tragic conclusion. She was so sick of that.

“Then don’t forget.” Her voice trembled just as badly but her resolve won over. “Don’t forget, Taeyeon-ah.”

Taeyeon wakes up with a jolt, she sits up and leans on the headboard as she calms down. She could still vaguely feel the warmth of someone’s lips on her forehead and a voice with a gentle reminder.

 _Then don’t forget_.

Forget what? She was feeling an impending headache but she tried to smother it down and focused again.

_Don’t forget, Taeyeon-ah._

“I’m trying.” Taeyeon was almost in tears now, she has to remember.

_I think… I think I want to remember._

“I do, I really do,” a whimper involuntarily escapes her lips. “I don’t want to forget you… Sooyeon-ah.” 

Taeyeon stills on the bed. “ _Sooyeon…_ ”

On the precipice of recalling her memories and dreams, her phone vibrates and cuts through the revelation. Someone was calling her, Taeyeon needed to answer her phone. She blindly searches for the device on the bedside table and automatically answers without checking the screen for the name.

“H-Hello?” She felt too dazed, like she was back in a dream. But she wasn’t, this was real this time.

“Taeyeon-ah,” the voice sounded breathless but all the more familiar. Taeyeon clutches her phone tighter.

“S-Sooyeon,” she could cry, she already was.

“Do you…” she paused, reluctant to continue. “D-Do you remember?”

Taeyeon was smiling now despite the salty tears running down her cheeks. “I do, I didn’t forget this time, Sica.” The sigh of relief from Jessica flowed through Taeyeon. 

“Me too.” She could almost feel that the other girl was smiling now too even if she could hear soft sniffles on the opposite line.

The dreams really were their second chance. A sort of reckoning to bring them back to each other. 

Maybe clichés were alright after all. As long as it ended up like this, Jessica standing on the other side of the door to Taeyeon’s apartment looking so shy. But one look at her and Taeyeon felt the certainty in the way she stared back. Her gaze dropped down into the other girl’s arms and chuckles once she realized what it was.

“Don’t you think it’s too early to be drinking that?” She pointed to the bottle of _Marchesi Antinori Solaia_ that was protectively tucked into Jessica’s arms. 

Jessica shrugged. “Any time is the perfect time to drink wine,” she said with a smirk. “And no, you can’t disagree because _I’m_ the wine girl here.”

Taeyeon rolls her eyes affectionately before taking a hold of Jessica’s unoccupied hand, gently tugging and pulling her in.

“Yeah, yeah.” Jessica’s hand was warm. “I remember.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 days late but this was for the birthday our one and only princess, Jessica Jung Sooyeon!


	2. Love Poem (Titled You)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jieun has always watched Taeyeon from afar. They may be idols but they both led two completely different lives.
> 
> But circumstances seem to draw back into Jieun. No matter how much she tried, she just somehow always ends up getting pulled in by Taeyeon’s presence anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've received so much lovely comments about the first IU/Taeng story so I decided to make another! This is more like a prequel to ELHL or rather a how-they-met-and-fell-in-love story.
> 
> I also made a playlist you can listen to while reading [here](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0zfmFZBvmt9ZuMBXV6WI8N?si=Tc_w2z4HTQKE4kqB4nWWag/)

“You have a new rival.” That was how the call began. Jieun would have had a more astounded reaction if this wasn’t information she already knew.

_Bicceul ssotneun sky, geu arae seon I…_

“You already know her.” Honestly who doesn’t? Jieun doesn’t retort and simply droned in reply instead.

_Kkumkkudeusi fly…_

_“My life is a beauty…”_ Jieun unconsciously hummed along as the song continued to play quietly from the living room speakers. 

“I see you already know of the song too,” her manager continued, humored, as if he expected this behavior ahead of time.

Jieun ducked her head in mortification until she realized her manager wasn’t there to see her anyway. She willed herself to relax and brought her attention back to the ongoing phone call.

“It’s a great song,” she lamely countered. Whether it was the song or herself she was defending, she wasn’t sure. 

“Yes, the charts definitely agree.”

Jieun went straight to the point. She didn’t like stalling, it made her unnecessarily nervous. “Is there a problem then? Do I have to move my comeback or something?” 

“No, no. The company agreed to continue with the schedule as planned,” he quickly amended. “I’m just here to inform and tell you to prepare harder for it, I guess.”

Jieun scoffed. She understood her manager was just passing on news from the big bosses but it still irked her either way. She was only a bit over twenty but was already a seasoned idol after all, she had the right to feel egotistic about it even just a little bit.

“I know oppa, and you know me.” There was no need to notify her of all of this, they both recognized that fact but her company probably hasn’t caught onto the memo just yet.

“Alright, that’s all I have to say.”

“Thanks oppa, bye,” she says before hanging up.

Even after all the worry and fuss from the company, the reception to her new song was still definitely strong. Not that Jieun had any doubts, she knew of her standing in the industry and if she wasn’t on top, she was almost there.

But there was something else that definitely intrigued Jieun about her new competitor, if she could even call her that. To be honest she was getting slightly bothered by it. Call it her age doing the talk, she was only twenty-three after all and that should account to a little bit of insecurity when she was facing a senior with more years of experience stacked ahead of her. Maybe that was it— the thing that compelled her as she watched Kim Taeyeon performing her solo debut song on stage. Taeyeon was both something new and yet also achingly familiar. Jieun wasn’t far from all the other idols that also looked up to Girls’ Generation after all.

“You’re staring.” Her manager curiously stated and in turn tempted Jieun to do an eye roll. 

“Thank you for pointing it out, Captain Obvious.”

“She’s prettier in person.” She definitely is, and boy has she grown even more beautiful as the years went by since they first met at a little radio show.

“Everyone’s usually prettier in person, oppa.”

Her manager simply chuckled in reply and didn’t say anything more. She wished he did— that way she wouldn’t be lost in her own thoughts again. She wouldn’t need to keep thinking about how captivating Kim Taeyeon truly was.

The insecurity hit her like a cartoon anvil, so sudden that it left her with no time to react differently. It’s just that Jieun knew her song was almost nothing in comparison to this one.

 _I_ was practically an anthem, a liberty track. What was her own song— a self-conscious, obviously lost in thought self-reflection track— going to do against something like that? Nothing.

It hurt, comparing herself like this. But it still wasn’t enough for her to tear her gaze away from the compelling stage.

“Taeyeon-sunbaenim.” Jieun bowed deeply upon greeting her senior after the music show.

“IU-ssi.” Taeyeon spoke in her slightly deeper speaking voice that Jieun hasn’t heard clearly in person for quite some time. Here she was again, getting compelled by something as simple as a voice— _her voice_ to be exact.

“Ahhh, please call me Jieun instead, sunbae.” Jieun didn’t know what pushed her to say that and to a very successful— don’t forget super pretty— senior too.

Taeyeon’s eyebrow hitched a little higher in amusement but thankfully doesn’t question the rosy tint that was slowly blooming on Jieun’s cheeks.

“I will,” Taeyeon grinned. “Only if you stop calling me sunbaenim. If anything, I’m supposed to be the one calling you that.” She gestured to herself before continuing, “Newly debuted soloist after all.”

Jieun laughed along, finding the whole moment cute. It was refreshing to say the least. Taeyeon wasn’t as intimidating off-stage, she was so far from that.

“Ohh, where are my manners!” Taeyeon suddenly bowed a whole ninety degrees that Jieun started to worry about her back. “Hello! I’m Taeyeon from Girls’ Generation. Please take care of me, sunbaenim,” she added the honorific with a playful grin.

The stint got another laugh out of Jieun. _She’s adorable._

“Okay, okay. I get it! It’s weird being called sunbaenim especially by _you._ I’ll call you unnie then, is that better?”

“Much.” Taeyeon smiled brightly. It was such a contagious one, making Jieun mirror the expression.

“So do I also get an album from you? Isn’t that what the rookies do?” Jieun teased.

“I mean, if you want? I can get you one.” 

“Ahh, actually unnie, I already have a copy.” Taeyeon’s eyes widened comically, obviously not expecting that answer. “Can I have you sign it instead?”

“Wow,” that was all the other girl could muster.

“I-Is that a yes?”

Taeyeon snaps out of her trance. “Yeah, I— yeah of course, just wow.” A chuckle. “I guess I’m still trying to get used to this, you know? I don’t have eight noisy kids to back me up, it’s pretty off-putting.”

The older girl almost winced at her slip, if Jieun noticed, she didn’t comment. Taeyeon was thankful for it. She didn’t lie when she said she wasn’t used to all of this. Even without their physical presence, Taeyeon could vividly imagine her girls teasing her if they saw what was happening right now. Tiffany’s knowing but comforting smile. The opposite kind from Sunny, Sooyoung and Yoona, all mischievous and teasing. Probably wolf whistles coming from Yuri and Hyoyeon, they were the _worst_. She’d be thankful for Juhyun’s scolding of her unnies but Taeyeon would cower in fear from Jessica’s narrowing eyes and icy glare.

To think that Taeyeon still thought of them as nine even after everything that went down. It was inevitable, she was simply human after all. The thought was all the more bittersweet.

Her thoughts were interrupted when a fine-tipped marker was suddenly shoved in front of her face. She looked behind the pen and spotted a blushing Jieun who looked so determined to get her autograph. 

“Unnie?” 

Taeyeon mentally shook herself out of it. She was slightly flustered to have been caught blatantly staring.

“Sorry, zoned out there for a bit,” she said with a soft knock on her head.

The younger girl simply chuckled before pushing her copy of the album and the marker further into Taeyeon’s arms. The blonde had no much choice but to comply. How could she say no to a cute dongsaeng anyways. 

Jieun watched intently as Taeyeon did her signature, complete with the butterfly and even a short message for the other girl. Just as she was done signing, Jieun’s manager called for her. It was time to go.

“Thank you again sunbae— unnie,” she quickly caught herself just in time. “I hope to see you around!” 

“You too, Jieun-ah.” 

_Taeyeon has such a warm smile_ , Jieun thought as she walked back to where her manager waited.

Once Jieun knew she was out of sight did she finally let herself squeal and even embrace the album tightly. She belatedly realized that she wasn’t able to read the message the older girl wrote for her yet. Jieun quickly opened the album and broke out into an even bigger smile upon reading the short letter.

**_Let’s not get sick and do well, okay?_ **   
**_I’m cheering for you._ **   
**_Fighting, Jieun-ah!_ **  
_-Kim Taeyeon_

Rivals huh? Jieun didn’t think so. Taeyeon was so much more than that for her.

\--

Jieun has always watched Taeyeon from afar. Since her debut, they’d never had any chance to actually interact and get to know each other better. Probably because Jieun was a soloist and Taeyeon had her group. They may be idols but they both led two completely different lives.

But circumstances seem to draw back into Jieun. No matter how much she tried, she just somehow always ends up getting pulled in by Taeyeon’s presence anyway. 

They shouldn’t even have any reason to spend time with each other outside of work yet here they were, lounging on a couch in one of their mutual friend’s apartment to celebrate the successful opening of their new clothing line.

It wasn’t that long since they both last saw each other. Just a few weeks after their respective promotions ended. Taeyeon’s blonde hair was cut shorter just above her shoulders now that made her features look fresh and so much younger. She looked more relaxed now too conversing with Jieun but that was probably because of the champagne loosening them up.

“So,” Taeyeon starts, “how have you been Jieun-ssi?” She takes another sip of her drink, her lips curled into a smile behind the glass flute.

Jieun decided that she liked this version of Taeyeon a lot. She seemed more carefree and she’s proud that Taeyeon trusts her enough to be her normal self in front of Jieun.

“I’ve been alright, unnie.” Jieun smiled brightly, the one that made the nation fall in love with her. “Word on the street says you’re prepping up for another song release.” 

Taeyeon gave her a lazy smile in return. “What tipped you off? The new haircut?” she said while giving a light fluff to the aforementioned bob.

She shook her head slightly in amusement. “It definitely confirmed the impression of a comeback but no, it’s just also my job to look out for competition here and there.”

Taeyeon didn’t reply right away and instead studied Jieun curiously. The younger girl was starting to feel warm and it wasn’t because of the bubbly alcohol. The gaze the older girl gave was so focused until Taeyeon finally seemed to have found what she was looking for, her lips curling up into a small smirk.

“Is that what I am to you? Competition?” She didn’t say it with spite, she sounded more like her interest was piqued, amused.

“Yes and… no,” Jieun could feel the warmth radiating from Taeyeon’s body seated next to her. “While it is true that in the entertainment industry, we could be perceived as competitors— rivals even. But the truth?” She turned her head to the side and regarded Taeyeon, her voice toned down into a whisper. “I’m just a simple fan awaiting new content from you every time possible.”

Jieun felt like she just admitted a deep secret and was starting to feel disconcerted. She tried to shove it down. It was the truth after all and maybe it was the alcohol that gave her the courage to admit it out loud but it’s been a few moments of Taeyeon being silent that perturbed her even more. Before she could abruptly stand up and run away with her tail in between her legs, Taeyeon’s warm hand covered her own sweaty ones. Jieun tried not to jump in shock, Taeyeon tightened her hold instead. 

“Don’t run, you didn’t say anything wrong,” Taeyeon says as if she could sense the mess going on in Jieun’s mind. “I feel honored.” Her words weren’t anything else but sincere.

“That makes one of us,” Jieun mumbled while fighting the urge to cover her face and just wanting to vanish from the face of the planet. “You have no idea how embarrassed I feel right now, admitting that out loud and to _you_ of all people.”

Taeyeon chuckled fretfully. “You say that like I’m extraordinary,” she shakes her head. “I’m nothing like that. I’m just a normal girl who likes to sing.” Taeyeon then looked away bashfully.

There was something in the way Taeyeon said it that made Jieun’s forehead knot into a frown. Like she didn’t know how amazing she truly was. And then it hit her, was that how Taeyeon perceived herself? Like she wasn’t the most remarkable person Jieun’s probably ever met?

One look at Taeyeon’s shy demeanor ratified Jieun’s musings. A fire suddenly sparked inside of her, urging her to prove Taeyeon wrong.

“You’re so much more than that, unnie.” 

Taeyeon looks back at her. A mix of emotions swirling in her dark brown eyes, there was confusion in them and a sense of what looked like veiled curiosity. That amused smile was back and Jieun couldn’t look at anything else.

“You mean that, don’t you?”

Words were failing Jieun, rendered speechless all of a sudden. By what? She didn’t know, or maybe it was just the effect Taeyeon’s smile had on her. Ridiculous, honestly. All she could do was silently nod but sincerely in response. If it was possible, Taeyeon’s smile grew even brighter then. Jieun made sure to memorize all the lines and shapes that dimpled smile had to offer.

\--

It started with a simple: _“Congratulations on your new song release, unnie!”_ that turned into an impromptu invitation for a friendly hangout. Taeyeon should have known it was the precursor to a disaster waiting on a slippery slope the moment she hit send. It wasn’t like Taeyeon to do any of this. Heck she barely even left the confines of her own house unless dragged into the outside world by Tiffany or Yoona.

But this? It was all on her. And she had no way of backing out now, not when the reply she was anxiously waiting for finally came in.

 _“Pick me up at 8 then, unnie :)”_ the text on her phone screen said.

“Fuck,” she swore out loud but the small smile on her face betrayed the sentiment.

Taeyeon was ten minutes early. Call it a habit but she was never late to any appointment which was probably due to her years of training. At least that was one good thing that came out of her idol career. Although she was hard on herself, she didn’t treat others the same way if she could help it. 

Thankfully she didn’t need to wait for too long when she heard a soft knock on the passenger’s window and spotted Jieun’s smiling face behind the glass. Taeyeon didn’t waste any time and quickly got out before covering the short distance to the other side of the car all so she could open the door for the younger girl. Jieun looked surprised, obviously not used to these kinds of gestures before she smiled playfully, narrowing her eyes at Taeyeon.

“Do you do this for all the girls you pick up, unnie?”

“I, wha—” Taeyeon spluttered, her eyes wide and panicked, not expecting that at all. She tried to recover and cleared her throat. “I actually only do this for my mom. I don’t even know what came over me to be honest,” her forehead furrowed deeply.

It was said so sincerely that it almost knocked both the girls over. It was odd, Taeyeon found it difficult to say anything out loud so it baffled her how that admission easily went past her lips. She unconsciously raised her hand to rub the back of her neck, a nervous habit. Jieun noticed the bashful movement and tentatively reached out, touching Taeyeon’s elbow, careful not to spook her.

“I was just teasing, unnie. No one’s ever done that for me before. I thought it was sweet, thank you,” Jieun said reassuringly and it was enough to pull Taeyeon out of her dubious state and mirror the warm smile.

Taeyeon was expecting things to be awkward. After all, it was the first time the two girls hung out with each other outside of work or acquaintance. Instead of her expectations, Taeyeon was met with easy conversations and fond teasing, more reasons to laugh and smile— two things she hasn’t done much in the past months. She was grateful, she never knew how much one girl could completely turn her world around like that with ease.

Even eating was satisfying again. It’s been so long since Taeyeon actually enjoyed a meal— hell she’s never had much of an appetite to begin with. She’s only ever liked food when it was in the company of her members or family. But she’s finally coming to terms with the joy and warmth a simple bowl of steaming noodles could provide her. 

Taeyeon had the strongest urge to call Sooyoung and finally admit that she was right, that food was the best thing in the world. She wouldn’t know how to explain how she got to that conclusion though. 

What would she even say? That conversations with an intriguing companion over food made it feel more authentic? Or that just watching Jieun fill herself was enough to appease her own hunger?

Taeyeon wanted to laugh. Yeah that would go over really well with Sooyoung. She was probably never going to tell her— or any of the girls for that matter— but it did help to wind down her thoughts that never seemed to rest.

She decided to just enjoy whatever she’s given at the moment. That, she could actually give herself.

“So, where to now, unnie?”

“Uhm, I actually didn’t plan that much ahead,” Taeyeon admitted with a laugh before leaning her chin on the steering wheel trying to think of something. 

“We could just go for a drive,” Jieun suggested. “Well, _you’ll_ be driving of course. I’ll lay back here and be your personal DJ for the night.” Just as promised, the younger girl went ahead and connected her phone to the car’s bluetooth speaker.

Taeyeon softly cooed at the show of excitement. “Sounds good.” She also went on and put the car back on drive. “I actually do this a lot. Driving around to help clear my mind.”

Jieun turned her body sideways, giving the older girl her full attention. “I’ve heard other people talk about how relaxing driving can be. Although I wouldn’t be able to completely empathize with that as I still can’t drive for the life of me.”

“Maybe I can teach you, I’m told I’m the best driver in SNSD.”

“Is that a fact?” Jieun laughed at Taeyeon’s indignant reaction. 

“It’s true! Yah, I thought you were a fan of mine? Shouldn’t this be common knowledge?”

“I was just kidding,” the younger girl appeased. “We can schedule lessons soon. I only ask that you be patient with me. Please take care of me, teacher,” she added with a teasing tone.

Taeyeon scoffed lightly before grumbling, “Wait till I send you the fee for my lessons.”

Of course, Jieun’s immediate reaction was to whine about having to pay. Taeyeon unabashedly let out her laughter. It felt nice, even if her jaw did feel like it was going to fall off with how much laughing she’s done in just a short amount of time. Not that she minded anyway when the girl next to her cackled as much as she did.

To Taeyeon’s delight, late-night rides became a usual thing between her and Jieun. Taeyeon did most of the driving, Jieun still didn’t trust herself enough to be behind an actual wheel and was busy with nightly playlists instead. It was unsurprising that the younger artist had exceptional music taste. It was something they both bonded deeply about.

“You know, I still have that album you gave me years ago.”

“Oh?” Jieun staggered a bit before shifting back into a comfortable position on her seat. “I’m glad. I wasn’t even sure if you were going to like it or not.”

“Of course I liked it,” she said, reassuring. “I knew just from the look on your face that you felt strongly about the album. It made me trust you and I can proudly say that trust wasn’t misplaced.”

“I’m happy enough that you even gave it a chance,” Jieun smiled gratefully.

“Of course, I can never say no to a cute dongsaeng.”

“Unniieee~” Jieun whined cutely, proving Taeyeon right— she really was cute, _the cutest._

A familiar melody started filling up the space of the car. Then a more than familiar voice right after too.

“Ah unnie, I really love this song of yours,” Jieun said before humming along to the music. She didn’t sing as loudly like their usual carpool karaoke gigs and focused on listening to the song instead.

Taeyeon only smiled in reply, tapping her fingers on the steering wheel along with the beat. The night seemed to be in tune with the song as rain drops started falling and rapped softly against the glass. It was oddly funny how it never actually rained when Taeyeon wrote the song and yet every moment afterwards was filled with drizzles. 

It was inevitable, how the memories poured down without Taeyeon’s permission. She remembered only a few moments but they it didn’t change how it weighed too heavily. A goodbye drowned out by that late summer storm until everything turned quiet, their throats sore from all the verbal sparring. It tore Taeyeon up, how peaceful the sound of the rain is and yet she couldn’t control the pain in her chest from spreading all over. 

She suddenly felt soft cotton dabbing delicately on her cheeks, only then noticing that they were damp. Taeyeon glanced to her right, spotting Jieun carefully reaching over. She continued to soak up Taeyeon’s flowing tears with the sleeve of her sweater. 

“I— I don’t know what suddenly came to me. I’m sorry, Jieun-ah.” Taeyeon stopped the car on a quiet sidewalk, not wanting to risk their safety when her emotions were running this high.

“Sshh, don’t be silly unnie.” Jieun unbuckled her seatbelt and leaned even closer over the console, now using both of her sleeves, cupping Taeyeon’s face gently.

Taeyeon felt the warmth spread all over her body and overwhelming the cold residue of the weather. She instinctively leaned further into Jieun’s hands. Her eyes conveyed a sort of solace, reassuring Taeyeon it was okay. 

The song long finished playing, the rain outside muted. Jieun didn’t bother playing anything else and instead opened her mouth to start singing. Taeyeon knew this song, she chuckled lightly upon recognition. 

Taeyeon lightly wondered if they experienced the same thing. Jieun’s song conveyed a familiar sentiment. She felt her heart throb again but this time because of the thought that the younger girl probably penned lyrics from something similar to her pain.

And it hurt because she shouldn’t have even gone through something like that. A girl like Jieun didn’t deserve it. Her indignant introspection was severed when Jieun spoke up again.

“Please don’t catch a cold, Taeyeon-unnie.”

Taeyeon smiled, lacing their hands together beneath the oversized sleeves. “As long as you stay with me under the umbrella.”

Jieun’s answer was a soundless nod. 

\--

“How are you so good at this?” Taeyeon asked with a frustrated huff. “My fingers feel like they’re going to fall off any minute now.”

Jieun laughed at the adorable display in front of her, resisting the urge to pinch the older girl’s cheeks.

“How are _you_ so bad?” Jieun replied, making Taeyeon pout even more.

“Yah! Lee Jieun!” The supposedly chic singer who refused to act cute in public, actually _whined._ “I asked for your help not for you to make fun of me.”

“Alright, alright,” Jieun complied, scooting closer on the couch and taking the acoustic guitar from Taeyeon, placing the instrument on her own lap before taking a hold of the other girl’s hand and inspecting the new calluses that formed. 

“Does it hurt?” She couldn’t help but gently trace Taeyeon’s fingers. They felt soft against her own rough ones, much tougher from all the years she’s played the guitar.

Taeyeon hummed at the pressure on her fingers. “Not that much.”

“Oh, so you don’t need me to kiss the pain away anymore?” Jieun couldn’t resist but tease.

The older girl fidgeted, staying quiet. Until Jieun felt Taeyeon’s hands ascend, nearing her own face. Jieun chuckled before giving in and softly grazing the older girl’s fingers with her lips. With their hands still close, Jieun glanced upwards and met Taeyeon’s unrestrained gaze. They’ve been having more and more moments like these the past days after the emotionally charged incident from their last late-night ride. Something was brewing but neither of the girls were brave enough to say it out loud just yet. 

Then there were instances like these, where they both played on the boundary of friendship and something more, like they were daring each other. Jieun wasn’t even sure when they officially became friends but she realized how much she enjoyed it anyway, ambiguous as they were.

“All better?” Taeyeon nodded in reply. “Do you want me to put bandaids again?”

A pinkish hue bloomed on Taeyeon’s face at the question. “Y-Yes, the blue ones please.”

Jieun rose from the couch with raucous laughter. Before Taeyeon could reprimand her for it, she quickly darted out of the room to retrieve the packet of colorful wound strips she always kept around specifically for a twenty-seven year old top idol-singer who tended to get hurt easily. 

After tending to the overgrown (but still tiny) baby, Jieun picked the guitar back up and started strumming random notes. The strings didn’t hurt her anymore. Playing the guitar was something almost as natural as singing to her now.

“You still haven’t told me why you wanted to learn the guitar,” she asked the other girl who was simply watching Jieun play.

Taeyeon listened for a few more moments before replying, “I wanted to write something different.”

“Already preparing for a new song, huh?”

“I can’t help it when I’m inspired,” Taeyeon smiled cheekily, somehow implying she wasn’t going to say what she was inspired by.

And yet she had the audacity to call Jieun the tease.

“Why ask me for help though?” Jieun curiously asked. “You could have asked someone else. There are far more talented musicians than me.”

“Like who?”

“I don’t know, Jukjae-oppa?” The insecurity was starting to seep out.

“Sure,” Taeyeon snickered. “But I didn’t want his help. I wanted yours.”

“But, _why,_ ” Jieun stressed.

Taeyeon shrugged. “I just wanted you— err I mean, y-your help. Yeah, I wanted your help.”

Jieun would have teased Taeyeon for her obvious flustered state if she herself wasn’t feeling her whole face flush at the slip. She didn’t want to think about it but her thoughts weren’t fully in her control as of the moment.

_I just wanted you._

She cleared her throat. Now was not the time to over-analyze possibly inaccurate implications. Or think about how yeah, she probably, perhaps maybe, does have a huge thing for her new friend. Who she may or may not have been crushing on for years now, come to think of it.

Even with all the noise overbearing her mind. One thought was still louder than the rest. 

_I just wanted you._

She wanted for it to be so desperately true.

\--

The sight of the busy background of a music show was overly familiar to Jieun. People milling around trying to get to places, the smell of cosmetics, the voices from the newest idols performing on-stage; none of it was new. 

But the sight of IU, looking so unsure and small, was something new for her and everyone else apparently. She ventured down the worn hallways like it was the first time she’s ever been inside a studio like this. Well it was a first, in a way. She’s never gone out of her way like this just to practically say hi. Moving door to door, looking for that one name she was searching for. Unfortunately, it was getting more difficult to ignore the surprised looks thrown her way and the whispers that reached her ears.

_“Isn’t that IU-ssi?”_

_“What’s she doing here? I thought she was on break.”_

_“Omo, omo. Meeting her secret, idol boyfriend maybe?”_

Jieun wanted to snicker at everything she overheard, especially the last one. Secret idol boyfriend? More like secret-idol-possibly-more-than-friends- _friend._

Even her best attempt to disguise as someone who was definitely-not-IU failed. Instead of stopping and trying to explain herself, she hastened her stride, trying to get out of everyone’s prying eyes. What would she say to them anyway? 

She cursed inwardly, why did Taeyeon’s room have to be so deep into the building? But then again, so was hers whenever she was actively promoting.

The situation was starting to escalate. More people were taking notice of her. This was bad. She was going to be in so much trouble if this reached her manager— who she conveniently ran away from just so she could sneak off and hopefully surprise her friend (crush). She obviously didn’t think this properly through though. Maybe she should have just told her manager the truth and asked him to accompany her. That way she wouldn’t need to walk this maze alone at least.

When she was almost ready to turn tail and give a call to her manager to apologize for every hardship she’s caused him, she feels a hand touch and press on her shoulder, making her jump. Jieun was ready— fists up—to admonish whoever startled her until she was face-to-face with a familiar eye-smiling girl.

“Tiffany-sunbaenim?” Her tone was incredulous.

“IU-ssi,” Tiffany greeted in a completely opposite way, smiling even brighter (how does she do that?) and gently held onto Jieun’s fists, lowering them down as if she knew how frightened the younger girl was. “Are you here for TaeTae too?”

“TaeTa—“ and then it all clicked. “Ahh, yes! I came to give Taeyeon-unnie my support.”

“For you to even come here personally,” Tiffany huffed. “I swear, Tae’s too lucky. You’re too good for her.”

“Wha-“ Was she implying the same thing on Jieun’s mind right now?

“Anyway, come on. I was also headed over to Tae’s room. Let’s go together!” Jieun couldn’t get another word out as Tiffany automatically linked their arms together and walked away, dragging her along.

Jieun didn’t know whether to be confused or thankful that someone saved her from the earlier predicament that could have ended in a much worse scenario. One look at the older girl’s smile that never dimmed even once made her choose the latter. Definitely the latter.

Just when Taeyeon thought she could finally get a few minutes of shuteye, the door to her green room bursts wide open, loudly banging into the adjacent wall. That alone was able to wake her lethargic body but the voice that accompanied the crash was loud enough to render her and everyone else in the room deaf.

“TaeTae!”

“Oh my god…” Taeyeon muttered in English before placing the blanket back over her head in an attempt to disappear. Where was a magical invisible cloak when you needed one?

“Oh come on, Tae. Don’t be like that.” She felt Tiffany approach closer and yet the girl still didn’t dial down her volume. Taeyeon’s response was an annoyed grunt. “I even brought back your lost puppy!”

“What are you talking about, Fany? Ginger’s back at home.” At that, Taeyeon sluggishly took the blanket off her head until her eyes finally landed on a familiar girl shyly standing beside the door. Jieun gave her a small wave.

“Jieun-ah.” Taeyeon knew she was staring.

“Yes, Taeyeon. That’s her name,” Tiffany mocked. “At least say hi, dumb-dumb.”

“Miyoung,” Taeyeon lowly growled and gave a narrowed look to her best friend trying to communicate wordlessly with her mind, Tiffany not backing down and faced her with a concentrated gaze.

_“What are you doing?”_

_“Helping you, you idiot.”_

_“Stop calling me an idiot.” Tiffany snickered, breaking their telepathy a bit. “Yah, seriously. What’re you planning?”_

_“I’m trying to help you get the girl, Taeyeon-ah.”_

Taeyeon just sighed. She was starting to regret being best friends with Stephanie Hwang Miyoung. That girl just read her too easily. It’s honestly terrifying at times. But then again maybe that was how they worked. Taeyeon and her inability to open up meshes well with Tiffany’s ability to never shut up. 

But one thing was clear for Taeyeon. This was Tiffany’s way of saying _yes, I approve, now go get her, idiot._ And no matter how insufferable she was, her validation still mattered the most to Taeyeon.

“Fine.” They were now talking like normal people.

“I still haven’t gotten my thank you. Come on, say it. It’s easy. Just say _thank you Tiffany, you’re the best Tiffany, I’ll finally buy you that overpriced necklace you’ve been asking for Tiffany.”_

“Fany-ah,” Taeyeon says with great seriousness. “Don’t push it.”

“Fiiiiine,” Tiffany drawled. 

“But thank you, I guess,” her voice was as low as a whisper. Tiffany answered back with a soft smile.

The American girl suddenly turned around. “I’m so sorry Jieun-ie. We weren’t ignoring you or anything like that.”

Jieun just chuckled, amused by the pair’s theatrics. “It’s okay sunbaenim.”

“Call me unnie, Jieun-ah. I feel jealous that you only call Taeyeon that but not me.” Tiffany was doing her best pout. Taeyeon was used to it— or more like immune. But unfortunately, it wasn’t the same for the youngest in the room.

“I-I,” Jieun’s cheeks were blushing, Tiffany’s pout grew sadder and she couldn’t take any more of it. “U-Unnie… Tiffany-unnie,” she said in a quiet voice, shyly giving in.

“Gah! You’re so cute!” Tiffany cooed and wrapped Jieun up in her arms, the younger girl squeaking in surprise. 

“Yah! Fany, you’re scaring her!” Taeyeon finally spoke up.

“Gosh, TaeTae. I was just being friendly. No need to be jealous.”

Taeyeon was about to retort until one of the show producers knocked on her door before opening it slightly. “Taeyeon-ssi, you’re almost up. We need you up there.”

“Awwhh, that was quick. Good luck out there, TaeTae!” Tiffany finally releases Jieun and slaps Taeyeon’s butt before leaning in and giving her a kiss on the cheek.

“Thanks, Fany-ah.” It was the most sincere. She faced Jieun then who was just smiling at her, encouraging. “Will you watch?” 

Jieun nods. “I’ll diligently take notes.” That got a chuckle out of Taeyeon.

“Stay?”

“I’ll be here, unnie,” Jieun answered with a grin.

For the first time since Taeyeon sang the song, from composing it with Jieun, to recording it and even throughout vocal practice, she’s never felt this elated. It wasn’t a song for smiles but Taeyeon found her lips uncontrollably curl up anyway.

The audience would probably find it odd but Taeyeon couldn’t care any less. She wasn’t afraid of everyone seeing her this happy anymore. Maybe she did deserve it like what everyone has been telling her. She was starting to believe it too.

Finally, she could smile and not feel like it was forced. She was happy.

The call came almost immediately after she got off the platform and back into the chaotic backstage, her manager switching her microphone and thrusting a phone into her hands. The noise was everywhere Taeyeon went as she raised the device to her ear. But even with all the sounds overlapping with each other, she could still distinguish the voice on the other end.

“Hi, Taeyeon.”

“Sooyeon,” was all Taeyeon could utter. She hears a melodic chuckle over the line.

“I saw your performance. You sang beautifully.” Taeyeon meekly ducked her head from the unexpected praise.

“Uhm, th-thanks.”

Jessica laughs once again. “Still the same Taengoo who can’t accept a compliment without being awkward about it, huh?”

Oddly enough, the light teasing helped alleviate Taeyeon’s nerves from the conversation or rather because of who she was talking to. 

“So are you? Over me?” Jessica asked after a beat of silence. 

It was the same question Taeyeon has been pondering about for months. But she should have known that Jessica would have caught onto it quickly. She was always the perceptive one in the group after all.

“Sooyeon,” Taeyeon says again and Jessica just hums in reply, waiting. “It doesn’t hurt as much anymore,” she felt her voice tremble a bit. 

“What doesn’t hurt?” Jessica gently prodded.

“Calling out your name.”

A few seconds of silence tick by until finally: “Then I’m happy. I’m happy for you, Taeyeon-ah.”

The tears fell freely after Taeyeon heard those words. If anyone understood Taeyeon the best, it would be Jessica through and through, that was something that would never change. But the unspoken words also reached Taeyeon, her heart throbbing at the implication. 

_I’m letting you go._

It was time she did too. 

The ache in her chest was getting lighter. 

“I miss you,” she said because it was true.

“I’ll come back,” Jessica says. “In one condition.”

“Anything, Sooyeon.”

“You’ll let me meet her.” Taeyeon swears she could feel the knowing smile on the other girl’s face even if she couldn’t see her right now. It was just pure instinct.

“Okay, I promise.” Another sincere smile breaks out on her face this time.

“I miss you too. See you soon, Taengoo.”

That was how the call ended, abrupt. But Taeyeon could sense it. Things were finally starting to weave back together. Everything was finally making sense again.

Even through a television screen, Jieun still couldn’t help but be mesmerized by a performance by the one and only Kim Taeyeon. Luckily she was sitting alone in the monitoring room now because she’s pretty sure that anyone who’d see her would be able to instantly tell how she felt. The look on her face said it all— awe, envy, affection, but most of all, she was proud. That feeling overcame everything else.

She was so focused on internalizing Taeyeon’s voice and the beautiful guitar melody that she didn’t realize the door open softly accompanied by equally light footsteps. A few more seconds later and Jieun felt a pair of arms wrap around her neck from behind. She let out a gasp and her body uncontrollably tensed at the contact until she recognized the familiar scent emanating from the other person in the room.

“Taeyeon?” 

“Hi.” Taeyeon leaned closer, nuzzling into the crook between Jieun’s jaw and neck. “Sorry, did I scare you?”

“Hi, back.” The younger girl slowly reaches out and holds onto Taeyeon’s arm. “It’s alright. Just a little bit surprised. I didn’t even hear you come in.”

She feels rather than hears Taeyeon laughing behind her. 

“That’s because you were watching the monitor too intently.”

Jieun’s cheeks turn pink. “Unnieee~” she whined. “Stop teasing me. You have no idea how captivating your singing truly is so you don’t have the right to speak.”

“I think I have an idea.”

“Gosh, so humble aren’t we?” 

“Always.” Taeyeon still didn’t move away but Jieun didn’t mind. The other girl was warm against her.

“Jieun-ah, what time is it?”

One look at the analog clock above the television answered for her. “It’s nine minutes past eleven, unnie.”

“Two more minutes then.” Taeyeon’s embrace tightened a bit. “Can I hold you for that much longer?”

 _You can hold me for much, much longer,_ she thought in her mind. Taeyeon lets out another chuckle.

“I’ll hold you to that.”

“Oh my god…” Of all the times she would mess up and slip… “Can you pretend you didn’t hear me say that out loud?”

“Nope. No take-backs.”

Before Jieun could wrestle her way out and argue like a kid, Taeyeon beats her to it and interrupts.

“Look, it’s 11:11,” Taeyeon says, pointing to the clock. “Make a wish.”

So that was her intention. Jieun smiled, her previous mortification now vanished and was replaced by something more affectionate.

“I don’t need to,” she bravely announced.

“Are you sure? Come on, tell me your wish.” 

Jieun snorted at the reference. Before the minute was over, Jieun gently turned around now facing Taeyeon. The older girl’s eyes questioning, studying her intention. Jieun simply loops her arms around Taeyeon’s neck this time around, her hands interlocking behind.

“I don’t need to make a wish,” she repeated. “Because it was already granted.”

That was all it took for Taeyeon to move along with the clock’s hand, leaning forward from the enchanted time. Jieun meeting her halfway until her lips land softly on Taeyeon’s, their movement and hearts synchronized for the first time. 

She wanted to memorize everything. How Taeyeon’s hand naturally drew her closer by the waist, her touch burning. The softness of her lips, the warmth of her mouth. The way her heart beats loudly against her ribcage. Jieun wonders if Taeyeon could hear it. One simple touch to Taeyeon’s chest said it all. All traces of hesitation finally disappeared and they could just be honest with each other.

It was worth the wait. Taeyeon was worth the wait. They were worth the wait.

_For you to walk again, for you to love again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus scene:
> 
> "We may have a problem," Taeyeon stated after showing up in front of Jieun's door unannounced.
> 
> "Huh?"
> 
> "I have a dog." But Jieun already knew that.
> 
> "Uhuh?"
> 
> "He doesn't like ducks," Taeyeon nervously admitted.
> 
> Jieun didn't get what Taeyeon was going at until after a few minutes. She wanted to desperately laugh but controlled herself after seeing the dejected look on her girlfriend's face.
> 
> "Unnie, I don't really own a duck."
> 
> "Oh."
> 
> She notices Taeyeon trying her very hardest to conceal a bag full of straw and pine shavings.
> 
> "You were excited to see the duck, weren't you?"
> 
> -
> 
> "Oh Tae, you're back. What's with the long face?"
> 
> "..."
> 
> "There was no duck was there..."
> 
> "Pany-yah~"
> 
> -
> 
> And end! Do tell me if you guessed the songs I referenced here! Once again, I hope you all enjoyed that and I hope to be able to post more stories much more frequently.
> 
> twt: @reallybadYR


	4. As Good for Me as You (1/2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jessica wanted the role. Taeyeon just wanted to get through college and graduate. In the end, they both find themselves roped into the world of theater, drama and romance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the elusive Taengsic HSM/musical/theater AU I've been raving on about on my twitter.
> 
> Title is definitely from the HSM song What I've Been Looking For because I'm a nerd that way. (TBH I was tempted to entitle it Start of Something New but that would have been cliche...)

“Drama is like a five-year old child. Why, you ask? Because they have the ability to _be_ someone else with total absorption and know that they are seeing things from a different perspective.”

This was important, thought Jessica. Her professor was explaining something vital to her learning and yet she couldn’t even find herself taking notes like she usually did. She was distracted. This was unlike her.

She was _The_ Jessica Jung, voted most-likely to debut in Broadway by teachers and students alike since she was five years old. Little Miss Perfect who never failed a test nor unsuccessfully landed a lead role in any of the major plays by their university. But even an outstanding student like her had days like these when all she wanted was to bolt out of the classroom and simply head into the elusive announcement board.

“Drama is the enactment of real and imagined events through roles and situations,” her professor prattled on. It wasn’t like anything she heard was new. This certain professor tended to say a similar introduction to his subject every start of the school year. This one wasn’t any different.

“Drama enables both individuals and groups to explore, shape and symbolically represent ideas and feelings and their consequences.”

Jessica sighed. Talking about consequences, how much would it cost her if she sat up then walked out of the lecture hall right this instant without any word of explanation. The thought instantly made her crack up inside; those kinds of actions would garner her a sure spot on the front page of their college newspaper. She could see the title vividly now: ‘Top Theater Arts Student Caught Rebelling in the _Act!_ ’ or something just as scandalous as that. Honestly, they should just change the newspaper’s category into a tabloid at this rate, Jessica mused.

Miraculously, Jessica doesn’t find herself doing any of those. She sits still, agonizing for the next hour and a half, mostly daydreaming about the endless possibilities of her life after university. She was two years too early for the true life of a theater career but it didn’t hurt to imagine herself finally _there._

And nothing was going to stop her from attaining that goal. She was going to make sure that everyone would watch her _shine._

Nine powerful and long strides were all it took for Jessica to finally find herself standing in front of the Drama Department’s bulletin board. It was nothing special, the drama kids liked to keep things simple with a twenty-four inch block of cork. That didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things, what _mattered_ was the single piece of white A4 paper that was radically pinned in the middle of the brown space, the first announcement of the year.

**_Into the New World_ **

_Written by KTY_

Cast

Kang Jonghee – Jung Jessica

…

Her eyes widen comically at the text. She got it. She actually landed the lead role. Not that she had any doubts in the first place… well maybe just a bit, a _tiny_ bit.

But none of her past lack of confidence mattered right now when the evidence of all her hard work was in plain sight right in front of her. A smile graced her lips, not like those bordering-on-fake stage smiles; it was one out of genuine happiness.

“Unnie!”

The blonde wasn’t given much time to even react before a lithe and taller body barrels into her. The only reason she wasn’t on the ground now due to the force of impact was all thanks to the unlikely strong arms that steadied her into an embrace.

“Did you get it?! Tell me you did. Remember what talked about, it’s lead or nothing, unnie!”

“Yah, Jung Soojung!” Jessica had to press onto the other girl’s elbows to stop the rambling. “Are you planning to give your unnie a chance to speak?”

“Sorry,” finally calming down, Krystal smiled sheepishly and shrugged. “I got too excited.” 

Jessica couldn’t stay annoyed at her sister for more than even five minutes, not when she was this adorable. She was sure the younger girl knew just how much power she had over her. But for the sake of Jessica’s fragile pride, Krystal would happily act innocent about it.

“So?” Krystal slightly nudged when her sister still didn’t respond. But the smug smile forming on Jessica’s face was enough of a confirmation for her already. “No way…”

The smile grew even bigger now. “Yes way, Soojung,” she said accompanied by a playful flip of her blonde locks.

No time was wasted as Krystal pulled Jessica into another hug that was thankfully a lot less rough than the first.

“I knew you could do it Jess. I’m so proud of you,” Krystal uttered sincerely.

The theater major reveled in the warmth of her sister’s hold for a while longer. She mumbled a silent thank you into Krystal’s shoulder. She’d never admit it out loud but there were lots of wonderful perks to having a taller sibling.

Krystal lets go after a minute. “So? Who’s the lucky co-star?”

It was only then that Jessica remembered the play would have two leads. She already knew who the first one was but due to the uncontainable excitement earlier, she completely forgot to check the rest of the cast members. She turned back, facing the board again, swiftly skimming through the rest of the names.   
Most of them were familiar people Jessica’s already worked with in previous productions, except for one. That one name Jessica’s never even heard of until today.

“Who the _hell_ is Kim Taeyeon?”

-

“Lee Hyori!” 

Taeyeon all but shouts into the seemingly unoccupied auditorium, her eyes scanning the room for any sign of movement. The lights were dimmed all except for one spotlight shining directly in the middle of the podium.

“Yah!” The person she was looking for suddenly pops out from behind the piano situated on stage, her hands flying to her hips menacingly and obviously irate. “How many times do I have to tell you to call me formally when we’re in school you brat!”

The raven haired girl just rolls her eyes before walking the distance closer to the stage. She now stood right below the angry faculty member but it was still not enough to faze her. Not when she’s known this same person in front of her for more than half her life now. It wasn’t Taeyeon’s fault that she didn’t bother with formal titles with the woman who she’s seen shitfaced more times than what’s acceptable from a supposed esteemed school professor.

“Calm your tits. There’s no one else here but us.”

“You…” Hyori growls, her eye twitching a few times before asking, “What do you want, child of satan?”

At the question, Taeyeon takes a step forward, unfolding a piece of paper from her back pocket before shoving it into her teacher’s face. Hyori simply squints to take a better look at what was written on the white parchment.

“What is the meaning of this,” Taeyeon enunciated each word with great emphasis.

Hyori just gives her a completely unimpressed look. “What do you think, Taeyeon-ah? It obviously says here that you got casted into a lead role for the biggest university production this year.”

“Exactly!” Taeyeon doesn’t back down. “What do you mean I’m casted? Come on, tell me this is a mistake. It has to be.”

“No can do, kid. It’s not a typographical error.”

Taeyeon stares, trying to find a hint that the older woman was lying. She unfortunately found no such thing. Finally feeling defeated, she uses the last bit of her remaining energy to hop onto the platform before immediately sinking into the hard wooden floor and letting her feet dangle on the edge. After a few more minutes of silence, she hears Hyori sigh before sitting alongside her.

“Why,” Taeyeon quietly questioned with her head bowed. 

“You know why,” Hyori unhelpfully replied, her arm draping over Taeyeon’s shoulders. “You’ve got the talent and skill for it, Taeyeon. I think it’s a complete waste that you refuse to show it to the world.”

“But Teach, you know how much I _abhor_ the attention. I’m a behind-the-scenes kind of gal.”

“And that’s exactly why you need an intervention. Look, I’ve watched you out sing and ultimately outperform almost everyone in the drama department. And it’s pretty much your fault for writing a self-insert lead character into the story. How do you expect me not to cast you, Yoo Eunjae in the flesh herself?”

“Isn’t that the whole point of being a screenwriter?” Taeyeon says, still adamant. “I create in the comfort of anonymity and let some other actor bring that character to life?”

“That’s true,” Hyori concedes, “if you didn’t have another set of abilities that could seriously land you somewhere great. Besides, aren’t you still unsure of what to major in?”

Taeyeon groans at the reminder. She wasn’t a freshman anymore, time was slowly running out and she still had zero idea on what major to take. Hyori was right but it still doesn’t instantaneously extinguish her antagonism to the spotlight.

“Low blow, Teach. Low blow.”

The professor quirks her mouth before ruffling the top of Taeyeon’s head. She definitely played dirty but she couldn’t find it in herself to feel bad about it when that was the only way she could convince Taeyeon to actually give the musical a chance. The actual confirmation comes in the form of a sighing midget who was slowly giving in.

“Just this one time,” Taeyeon strictly stated. “This will be the first and last show I’m ever acting in.”

“Sure, Taeyeon-ah. Whatever you say.”

But Hyori knew, this was the start of something new, something brilliant. And it was definitely _not_ the last.

//

Most people would think that actors relish life under the limelight, strive for it even. While Jessica rightfully garnered the attention, most of it she never actually asked for. It was a given, Jessica had the talent and drive and it was impossible for people not to watch. But a girl like her could only take so much scrutiny and surveillance before it all became too overwhelming. Maybe that was why she enjoyed the quiet of the auditorium in the early hours of the morning. 

She liked to sit right in the middle of the unoccupied theater seats like some sort of pre-show meditation. She leaned back into the headrest and closed her eyes. Religious time she gave herself before charging head-on into a new character.

The almost unearthly silence was interrupted by the bulky sound of the theater doors opening. Like a moth drawn to a flame, Jessica turns her head, wary of her new companion. Dark, brown eyes meet hers almost instinctively, making her breath hitch from the intensity she felt through them.

Jessica stands up immediately as the new girl walks the carpeted path into her direction, her gaze never leaving almost as if they were magnetized.

“Oh, hello.” She politely bowed once the girl was close enough. “I wasn’t expecting anyone else to be here as early as me,” she quickly supplied. For some reason, she oddly felt like she was caught doing something unimaginable before realizing how ridiculous that thought was.

The other girl seemed to pick up on Jessica’s current headspace and chuckled softly. 

“Still the same Jessica Jung, I see. You always did amaze me with your discipline,” the newcomer said with a quirk of her mouth, sort of teasing but sincere at the same time.

“Oh, you know who I am?” She could barely hide the surprise on her face like this was news to her.

“Your question, Miss Jung, should be more of who _doesn’t_ know you?”

“I-I…” Jessica’s cheeks uncontrollably redden at the sudden statement until she finds the other girl trying to hold back a grin and it finally clicks. "You're teasing me aren’t you?!" 

An unabashed laugh was released right after her callout and Jessica didn't know whether to feel confused or insulted at the indirect confirmation. 

The girl in front of her was rather bold to actually poke fun at _The_ Jessica Jung. Jessica wasn’t sure what to make of it yet. Gutsy, that was for sure but infuriating at the same time. Who was this girl anyway? A closer look revealed a pale, startlingly handsome face that was somehow vaguely familiar. 

“Have we met?” Jessica asked directly, her forehead scowling as she tries to remember if she’s ever interacted with the mysterious girl.

“Yes and… no,” Mystery girl chuckled at the growing confusion on Jessica’s face.

Sometimes, Jessica really hated how honest her reactions were. Most of the time, she would have a rather icy resting face but she still couldn’t hide the way she wore her heart on her sleeve most of the time. 

“Yah, I didn’t ask a trick question you know.”

“I know, I know. Gosh, you’re really the no-bullshit type of girl aren’t you?”

She was right, Jessica didn’t have the best practice with patience but she wasn’t going to admit that right now.

“Yes, we’ve met but it was more of me meeting you,” the raven haired girl said, still not making any sense. As if reading Jessica’s mind, she explained further, “You auditioned for one of the musicals I wrote last year.”

As if a lightbulb lit up right above Jessica, she lets out a gasp. “You mean _Lion Heart?_ _You’re_ KTY?!”

The raw reaction makes her companion grin proudly, a dimple popping right below her lip, close to her chin. The sight of it makes Jessica flush for the second time just that _morning._

“That’s me,” she raised her hand in a thumbs-up, chortling at her own silly gesture afterwards.

Jessica’s heard of the elusive writer who no one has ever even met— well until now. To think that the talented screenwriter was this undeniably charismatic girl who has successfully _exasperated_ her with just a few teasing remarks. How she was able to avoid any detection perplexed Jessica. Surely a gorgeous and talented person like her would no doubt be popular. And yet this was the first time she’s ever seen her in person.

Clearing her throat, Jessica lifted her hand up for a handshake. “Uhm, it’s nice to finally meet you then. I’m Jessica,” she winced at how overly professional she sounded.

The moment the raven’s hand comes in contact with Jessica’s, she swears a jolt of electricity flew up her whole arm. It seemed the other girl experienced it too judging from her slightly shocked expression. They both awkwardly retract their hands, heads ducked bashfully.

“Nice to meet you Jessica-ssi— officially that is.”

“Y-Yeah…” Could things be any less awkward right now? 

Saving the pair from further enduring the cumbersome atmosphere, the doors open a second time that day, loudly slamming and revealing the head professor of the Drama Department.

“Good morning girls!” Professor Hyori strutted down the aisle like a runway, making her companion snicker. Jessica nudged her with a sharp elbow in warning. “I see you two have finally been acquainted! Less work for me then.”

“Of course,” mumbled the writer sarcastically.

“I heard that Taeyeon,” Hyori narrowed her eyes, the raven not backing down and doing the same.

“Taeyeon?” Where has she heard that name before?

“Yeah, sorry. I wasn’t able to fully introduce myself, huh? It’s all Hyo— I mean, the _professor’s_ fault for disturbing us.”

“Why you little—”

“Now, now, Teach. We have company.”

Hyori scoffs before facing Jessica and pointing her thumb at the raven. “This midget over here—”

“Yah!”

“—is your fellow lead actress for Into the New World, Jessica-ssi.”

Jessica had to process the information for a bit, the easy banter between the two distracting her. But once realization dawns onto her, she lets out a high-pitched shriek.

“You...You’re Kim Taeyeon!”

The somewhat indignant statement makes Taeyeon swallow nervously. 

-

Jessica Jung didn’t like her.

That much was obvious for Taeyeon as she received the ninth ( _ninth!_ ) glare directed at her today, courtesy of the striking blonde of course. She wasn’t even inconspicuous about it as if trying to actually freeze her over the arctic attitude. It bothered Taeyeon to no end, distracting her. Seriously, what did she even do that landed her into the Ice Princess’ bad side?

Thankfully their first scheduled practice was more of a run over of the musical and Hyori’s expectations from everyone. Taeyeon was diligently listening. This was her first acting gig after all. She needed all the guidance she could get. 

Taking notes was getting increasingly harder though as she could definitely feel a certain blonde’s gaze locked on her.

Apparently Taeyeon wasn’t the only person who noticed Jessica’s subtle hostility towards her as Hyori raises her hands as if in surrender before exclaiming, “Enough! Everyone, take five. You two,” she points at the two leads, “Talk, fix… whatever this is!”

Not even one second later, Jessica confidently faces Taeyeon with her famous glare intact.

“I don’t like you,” she says, candidly. Like she was waiting for the perfect opportunity to tell her just that.

“Uhm, I can see that…” Taeyeon scratches the back of her head, confused. “Are you going to tell me why?”

“I’ve been in 80% of all the university’s theater productions. And I’ve personally watched the remaining 20% where I wasn’t a cast member.”

“Right…” Taeyeon was still ultimately lost.

“So where were you during those times? I didn’t even see you audition.”

_Oh._

Taeyeon kind of gets it now.

“You don’t like me because you don’t think I deserve this role,” Taeyeon didn’t say it as a question, it was a fact. Jessica doesn’t retaliate. 

Her co-star folds her arms together, another scowl taking place on that pristine face. Taeyeon had the strongest urge to unknot the crease.

“That’s an understatement. Do you even know how hard it is to land a single role in a major production like this?”

She does, actually. Taeyeon did always have a hand in casting every role from the biggest to the ensemble. But she keeps her mouth shut, sensing that Jessica wasn’t finished.

“And I’ve never heard you sing! I just find it very odd that you’re here out of the hundreds of other students who vied for this role.”

“You make it sound like this is a school election…” Taeyeon mutters beneath her breath.

“What was that?” The menacing demeanor didn’t disappear even after Jessica admitted all of _that._

Taeyeon sighs, how was she supposed to prove herself to a really gorgeous but scary co-star who was out to chew her head off? The answer came with a sudden piano melody intro courtesy of their professor.

“Sing-off!” Hyori all but whoops before playing the first keys to Twinkle, one of the songs for the show and part of Taeyeon’s all-time faves. 

“Good idea, Teach.” A laugh escapes her lips before shooting Jessica a smirk. “Well? What are we still waiting for? You first, Princess.” 

“Fine. Watch and learn, newbie.”

“Oh I’m watching alright. Show me what you got, Golden Girl.” Taeyeon’s smirk grew at Jessica’s annoyed reaction to the nickname.

Taeyeon was definitely watching. How could she not when everything about Jessica and her presence just demands attention. This was what catapulted Jessica up to the top, thought Taeyeon. She couldn’t keep her eyes off her as Jessica confidently walked to the middle, a spotlight promptly shining on her. She took a deep breath before singing the first lines to the song.

And it was… _spectacular._

There was no doubt in her mind; Jessica Jung is a star.

Taeyeon would be lying if she says she hasn’t been monitoring the other girl for a while now. Since the first show she ever watched Jessica perform in a few years ago, when she was still this tiny, wannabe starlet. The memory brought a laugh out of her.

Jessica’s definitely grown and was well on her way to true stardom.

Something about the thought brought something out of Taeyeon, a deep new desire. She wanted to see how far this girl was going to go. And she had the strongest urge to be right next to her every step of the way.

This was the first step.

The pre-chorus was coming up and that was the exact time Taeyeon decided to move next to Jessica and just... sing. A slight stutter in Jessica’s body was evident, not at all expecting Taeyeon or her voice at all. But Jessica was a professional and she snapped out of the surprise easily before turning towards Taeyeon, now face-to-face, just in time to sing the chorus together.

Singing together with Jessica was simply... effortless; it was magical. 

Taeyeon was sure that Jessica noticed it too. They locked eyes, challenging each other in a way. It was electrifying, it felt _right._ Their voices harmonized at the perfect time, fitting together like puzzle pieces. Taeyeon didn’t want it to stop.

And as abruptly as the impromptu duet began, it ended too soon as the piano keys suddenly faltered and stopped before loud clapping could be heard. 

“Now _that_ is what I call singing,” Hyori gleefully says, now in between the two leads and swinging her arms over their shoulders, effectively pulling them all together into a messy semi-hug. “This musical is going to be a big success!”

Taeyeon caught Jessica’s eyes and laughed at the awkward look on her face before it morphed into a glare directed yet again at her. But Taeyeon didn’t feel terrified by it anymore, it was oddly endearing now.

For the first time since Taeyeon was casted against her will, she felt genuine excitement. She definitely grins back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on twitter @reallybadYR where I usually post snippets of my stories and drafts if yall want to check out!


	6. To be Seen, To be Heard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So you _can_ sing.”
> 
> “Of course I can sing." Taeyeon’s eyebrow shot up in challenge. “I wouldn’t be here if I couldn’t, Jessica-ssi.”
> 
> Something about the impersonal tone bothered Jessica.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second and final part of the Taengsic HSM/musical/theater AU

“So you _can_ sing.”

“Of course I can sing." Taeyeon’s eyebrow shot up in challenge. “I wouldn’t be here if I couldn’t, Jessica-ssi.”

Something about the impersonal tone bothered Jessica. 

“I apologize.” She heavily sighed. “It wasn’t my intention to question your skills like that.”

The girl in front of her suddenly chuckled lightly. Jessica’s head snapped up to regard the raven once more. She wasn’t expecting a smile being directed her way after everything she said, and just like clockwork, she feels her cheeks warm again. 

“It’s alright. You know what? Why don’t we start over with a clean slate. Hi, I’m Kim Taeyeon and I’m excited to work on this musical with you, Jessica-ssi,” Taeyeon says with that dashing smile still on her face, unknowingly drawing Jessica in even more.

“Jessica.” Her voice was almost faint as a whisper.

“Hmm?”

“Call me Jessica, just… Jessica,” the words leave her lips before she could take them back. 

Too late, all she could do now was curse whatever compelled her to say that. She didn’t want to look, feeling too mortified. But there was just something that always seemed to pull her back to her charming co-star; just like an apple falling back to the ground, a force of gravity.

“Okay, _Sica.”_ Taeyeon grins in jest.

“Yah, I said you could call me Jessica. Not another nickname.” 

Her lips uncontrollably purse into a sulk. Krystal once told her that her pout game was, quote and unquote— _Weak as fuck, unnie._ And maybe part of it was true when it did nothing to stop Taeyeon’s grin from molding into a loud guffaw that in turn made her crack a smile despite not wanting to.

“And... five, six, seven!” Wansun hollered into the busy theater, voice reverberating throughout the hall. 

The first week hasn’t even ended yet and Jessica already felt like they’ve been here for a whole _month._ She somehow forgot how much passion and drive Hyori had as a director and Wansun as a choreographer. Those two working together would always bring out the best results in terms of performance but not for Jessica’s woefully weak endurance. But Jessica somehow pushes on. She tries to convince herself that this was the type of exertion she's missed during the break, which, in hindsight wasn’t a complete lie.

They were learning the choreography for the opening number which was also unfortunately the most difficult to learn. Fast paced and energetic, the best way to impress and it definitely delivered.

After a few more repetitions, Wansun finally deems their initial performance worthy. Which was completely insane because it took them almost four hours of dancing the same sequence before she decided to end practice.

Jessica wanted the ground to swallow her whole. She was exhausted to the bone, and also— where the hell was an electronic fan when she needed it?

“I think I have a portable one in my bag, and normally I would definitely get it for you but my legs aren’t cooperating with me as of the moment.” Taeyeon suddenly replied from beside her, also sprawled on the wooden floor.

“Oh, that’s okay. I didn’t even notice I said that outloud.” An awkward laugh, Taeyeon also chuckled softly.

They lapse into a comfortable silence, both simply trying to catch their breaths. Jessica chanced a glance at her co-star and noticed Taeyeon’s arm over her forehead, eyes closed and breathing still a bit laboured. The sight alone oddly drew her in, studying her small frame. The way a small droplet of sweat ran down her pale neck, pooling into the notch of a sculpted collarbone. Jessica belatedly realized what she was doing and instantly shook her head, trying to erase every thought that came along with it. 

With a grunt, Jessica stood up with sheer willpower and walked over to the wings. Taeyeon noticed the movement and opened her eyes to curiously watch what the blonde was up to. She sat up just in time as Jessica came back and tossed a water bottle in her direction. 

“Drink up.”

Taeyeon flashed her a grateful smile before taking in generous gulps and leaving less than half of water left and handing the bottle back. Taeyeon was watching Jessica expectantly, the latter starting to feel self-conscious with all the unabashed staring, but to hell with it. She takes a drink too and somehow the thought that Taeyeon’s lips touched the same flask brought a pinkish hue to her cheeks once more.

_Oh my god, Jessica Jung. Snap out of it, you're acting like a silly schoolgirl._

“You’re a really good dancer, Sica.” Taeyeon’s sudden compliment thankfully broke her internal debate. 

“Oh, uhm...” She wasn’t sure how to respond to that. “Thanks. You’re pretty good yourself.” 

And it was true. Although Taeyeon didn’t grasp the choreography as quickly as Jessica did, her movements were crisp and clean. Something not borne out of talent by itself but rather with time and effort. And probably tons of hours practicing in front of a mirror— or anything reflective for that matter.

“Wow, is this real life? Is Jessica Jung, Golden Girl of theater, actually giving lil’ old me praise?” 

“Yah. Stop mocking my sincerity.” 

“Nooo,” Taeyeon whined, cutely even. “You’re supposed to say _‘Or is this just fantasy’?_ After I asked, _‘Is this real life!’”_

Instead of replying, Jessica gives her deadpan look, unamused, then slaps Taeyeon’s shoulder, _hard._

“Ow, ow. Okay, stop. I was just kidding!” 

Unlike earlier, Taeyeon seemed to have regained her energy back and quickly stood up, trying to run away from Jessica’s brutal attacks.

“Yah! Come back here!”

“Never!”

\--

A time check-in from her watch told her it was already close to eleven in the evening. And yet the girl on stage that Taeyeon’s been observing for almost an hour was only just beginning her cool down routine. When the girl was finally done, she took a look around and it seemed to only dawn on her then and there that everyone else had gone home.

But not her. 

The legend that Jessica Jung was always the first in and last out of the auditorium was apparently true.

Taeyeon chuckled before switching on the headset she still had on her head and experimentally humming into it. As expected, the sound and static resonated to the connected radio set receivers sitting at a corner in a box on the stage. The sudden noise startled Jessica and Taeyeon couldn’t hold back an amused giggle.

“Wh-who’s there?!” Jessica exclaimed while looking around warily.

After a few more moments of silence, she spoke up again, “A-Are you the rumoured ghost of the SM academy?” Her voice was wavering a bit in fear. “Look, I’m sorry you died but I heard it was an accident when a prop fell and crushed you, but... please don’t haunt me?”

Taeyeon was astonished. Her supposedly austere and icy co-star was… apologizing to a non-existent ghost? After confirming that yeah, Jessica was doing exactly that, she finally releases raucous laughter at the scene before her. The sound paralyzed Jessica in place until she finally seemed to recognize the familiar, albeit annoying laugh. She follows the source of the sound and finally finds the box of radios. After a beat of contemplation, she takes one of the sets, putting it on. 

“I know it’s you Taeyeon,” Jessica said into the headset microphone and inspected the seats. “Where are you?” 

“Look up. Mezzanine, center.” Jessica spots her waving and with a wide grin on.

“I didn’t even know someone else was still here with me.”

“That’s the whole point, I guess.” She shrugged, not entirely sure if the other girl could even see the motion from that far.

“Is this how you were able to evade any detection all this time? By hiding in plain sight?”

Taeyeon's lips curl into a smile at the correct assumption. “Bingo, Princess.”

She's always loved musicals, loved the theater in itself. But her aversion to the limelight was just as comparable. Until she was able to come up with a game plan, a compromise to discover herself without the added exposure. 

She created an alter-ego, _KTY._ And it had worked out for her so well, until recently. 

Even after she was thrusted (semi-against her will) right into the forefront of the stage, some things still wouldn’t change. Like right now, monitoring everything from above, giving her comments and opinions via radio. Difference was, she was finally found out. But the raven realized she didn’t mind it as much as she thought it would. 

“So... you were amazing this week,” Taeyeon says, unable to hold the praise back. Something about her co-star just made her more honest with her opinions and thoughts. She was yet to find out why.

Jessica scoffed back in reply. “I was a judgmental bitch.”

“That too.” She let out a chuckle. “But amazing nonetheless. I’ve also noticed how our voices go really well together.” 

What she wanted to say: She wishes they could get along too, not just their voices.

It was silent for a while until Jessica sighed. “I’m sorry again,” she apologized for a second time, somehow reading into Taeyeon’s silent message.

“It’s okay, really. Though I can’t deny that I _was_ slightly offended, but I do get where you were coming from.”

The blonde’s perplexed expression was visible even from where Taeyeon sat. “What do you mean?”

“You’re Jessica Jung.” A smile uncontrollably formed as she continued the study of the girl. “You care about a project more than anyone else. You just wanted to make sure everything was right and in its place.”

Jessica’s puzzled look transformed into one of surprise, her eyes widening comically and mouth slightly agape.

“Did I get it right?”

She timidly nodded her head. “I don’t even know how you got all that from just our first week of rehearsal but… thank you, really.”

Something about the completely opposite disposition stirred something inside of Taeyeon. Jessica Jung was cute when she was shy. 

Taeyeon wanted to see more.

\--

The weather forecast lied, Jessica accused as she braced the chilly temperature outside, wrapping her coat tighter around her thin frame. She woefully regrets forgetting her scarf in her room as the chill easily bit into her nape and ears. Her legs moved speedily through the sidewalk hoping to reach her destination right away. Anything to be out of the cold. 

_Ice Princess my ass,_ she snickered to herself. The inaccuracy of her campus nickname was hilarious right now, but she’d probably prefer that over the multitudes of monikers a certain raven has given her over a span of just two weeks.

The ‘Sica’ was cute though, she can admit that. But ‘Golden Girl’? Seriously? She couldn’t even decipher how Taeyeon came up with that one. Was she referring to her blonde hair? _Ugh, Jessica Jung, why are you even so bothered by this._ There were more pressing matters right now. 

But even the cold weather wasn't enough to remind her of her latest run-in with the annoying playmaker just a few days ago.

_"Hey, Golden Girl!" Jessica groaned upon hearing that maddening but lovely voice that was more than familiar._

_Jessica doesn't stop and says over her shoulder instead, "Isn't that nickname such a mouthful? Why do you insist on calling me that?"_

_The blonde relentlessly walked ahead, hopefully trying to get away as far as she could from her tiny co-star. She unfortunately wasn't fast enough as she felt that familiar presence walking by her side now. Jessica refused to acknowledge her. Refused to look into those dark brown puppy-dog eyes that held so much more secrets to a universe only she could behold._

_"Because you give out these cute, little, annoyed micro-expressions." Jessica's forehead frowned uncontrollably, further proving Taeyeon's point._

_"You're such a jerk, you know that? Will you please stop teasing me?" Jessica all but grumbled as Taeyeon just laughed at the obvious exasperation._

_Taeyeon abruptly jumped right in front of Jessica's way then, effectively halting her from running off. The theater major was about to lash out until she felt her co-star's index finger on her lips, shushing her. Taeyeon smiled then, the dimpled one Jessica secretly adored. That smile was more effective in rendering Jessica all the more silent as she found her eyes uncontrollably drop to the curved lips._

_Taeyeon had really pretty lips, really pouty and kissa— don't go there Jung. Don't even._

_The other girl's finger finally leaves her lips and moves upward. Jessica was about to question what she was planning to do until Taeyeon presses onto the middle of her forehead, smoothening the frown she didn't know was still present. Taeyeon gave a satisfied smile this time._

_"There we go. Can't let you have wrinkles now, can we? We need that pretty face of yours to be perfect for show day."_

_"Y-Yah! I told you to stop teasing me." Jessica couldn't hide her flustered state even if she tried._

_Stupid Taeyeon and her blindingly beautiful smile that always catches her off-guard._

_"Oh, but who said I was teasing?" Taeyeon took a few steps back from Jessica, that frustrating smile still on her face. "See you later, Golden Girl." She winked before completely turning around and walking away, leaving Jessica to stand in the middle of the hallway like a statue._

_What was that?_

Thoughts of her fellow actor seem to unwarrantedly pop in her mind a lot these days. Something Jessica had little control over, she realized lately.

Luckily for her, she finally trudged the last few steps before arriving in front of an apartment complex just a few blocks away from campus. Jessica reads the address on her phone one last time to make sure she was at the right place before briskly pushing on the doorbell. Just a minute later and the door finally opened. Warmth wafted from the inside and instantly made Jessica wish she was on the other side of the door right now. 

“Hello, Prof— _Taeyeon?”_ She staggered back a bit, not expecting the other girl to appear before her. 

Taeyeon’s eyes widen in recognition, her whole face lighting up and allowing for a bright grin to form. “Sica!” At least it was the cute nickname this time. “What are you doing here? Oh wait, sorry, come in. It’s freezing outside.”

The shock was still apparent and Jessica’s body wasn’t completely in her control as she allowed herself to be pulled in by Taeyeon, her hand tugging on her wrist gently. Taeyeon’s palm was warm, Jessica mused, completely opposite from her own cool skin. Once inside, Jessica felt warmer, the relief automatically washing over her. 

“Here, let me take your coat.” Taeyeon doesn’t wait for her reply and already starts to remove the extra layer, her hand brushing Jessica’s shoulder and arm, leaving goosebumps in its wake. 

“Th-thanks.” She was blushing, though it was probably because of being overexposed to the cool winter air, she reasoned with herself. 

“Who was at the door?” The person Jessica thought would greet her in the beginning called out from what looked to be like the kitchen. “Oh, Jessica! You’re here. I wasn’t expecting you until the afternoon.”

“Unnie, it’s literally already 1:00 PM,” Taeyeon informs and stands by Jessica’s side after hanging her coat.

“Oh shit, sorry about that Jessica. I totally lost track of the time.”

Taeyeon leans over and whispers, “More like she stayed up too late last night watching reruns of an old 80’s soap drama and slept for most part of the day.”

“Yah! Stop telling my top student nonsense,” Hyori exclaimed while simultaneously cooking what smelled like kimchi fried rice, motioning her emphasis with a spatula in hand. “Anyway, are you hungry Jessica?”

“Oh, uhm—” she starts at the same time her stomach decides to grumble in revolt, her cheeks tinting into a rosy complexion. Taeyeon breaks out into a laugh from beside her while Hyori just gives her a knowing smile. 

“Come on.” Taeyeon takes a hold of her wrist yet again, the playwright strangely fixed on the same spot as earlier. 

This wasn’t how Jessica imagined her Saturday to end up like. Which was her sitting next to Taeyeon, Hyori across from them, and eating kimchi fried rice that actually tasted really good, or maybe that was her stomach talking. The theater student purposely strode into her professor’s home on a weekend for the extra instruction for their upcoming play. She wasn’t expecting Taeyeon and everything else that was currently happening right after though.

Her original theory that Taeyeon and Hyori had a close relationship was confirmed when the former explained how the professor was a close family friend who she’s known since childhood. Taeyeon’s family lived back in Jeonju and so she lived with Hyori for a while before finally moving into the university dorms. 

“I just visit the old woman from time to time because I know how lonely she gets.” 

“Aysh,” Hyori cursed while holding her fist up in warning, Taeyeon snickering beside her. 

Jessica shook her head. The two really had the most peculiar bond. Although they do remind her of her own relationship with Krystal. Except, her own sister wasn’t too much of a rascal like Taeyeon, most of the time.

After a few more spoonfuls of kimchi fried rice and a bundle of comical childhood stories later, the group finally find themselves situated in the professor’s study. Hyori sat promptly behind the piano, playing the accompaniment as Taeyeon and Jessica sang some pieces from the musical. A few notes and instructions were thrown in, Jessica absorbing them all with ease. 

They were singing one of her favorite songs from the musical now and just like the first time they sang together, Jessica catches Taeyeon’s eyes, the raven holding her gaze evenly and never looking away. 

She never thought singing could be this… easy with someone else, yet it was also just as intense. It was like her voice had a mind of its own and just naturally blended with her co-star’s. 

Most of the time, she’d be thinking of her technique, absorbed with how she would be able to execute a note perfectly. But whenever she sang with Taeyeon, she somehow forgot all that. What was even more amazing was that the result was still good if not even better than when she would be stuck in her head thinking of the specific and right time to breathe in. 

She still couldn’t believe someone like Taeyeon was hidden all this time. Talent like hers wasn’t meant to be locked up.

Jessica kept watching even as Taeyeon broke their locked gaze as her eyes naturally close, her voice rising higher, the girl sustaining the note perfectly. _Damn, now that’s singing._ She was so engrossed in the melodic voice that she almost lost the timing for her to sing along until she felt Taeyeon’s hand on her forearm, reminding her of it, grounding her back.

Practice at the professor’s home became a usual for the trio now, and Jessica can’t deny how something as simple as that made her a little bit more excited to start the day. It shocked the life out of her sister at first, that she would get up at seven, on a _weekend,_ just so she could arrive quicker. 

She was really thankful for all the hands-on training from Hyori, and as a bonus, she got to watch and learn from her co-star as well. It was rare to have someone support you one-hundred percent and she was simply glad to have even half of it. But Taeyeon and Hyori went beyond that, Jessica just didn’t want to let them down.

As much as Jessica’s told Krystal it was just a practice routine, something to help hone her mastery, it was never just that either. Jessica’s come to learn that her fellow actress was really good company, well, whenever she wasn’t being an annoying nerd.

Oh, who was she kidding. She was starting to really, really like Taeyeon’s company. Maybe a little too much.

“You’re totally messing with me, aren’t you?” Taeyeon accused, as she finally gave up trying to match with Jessica who made it her personal goal to screw her over. The guilty party just giggled in response, pausing when she almost didn't notice the incline in step until Taeyeon held onto her forearm. Jessica shooting her a grateful smile in return.

The two were walking back to the dormitories after a solid two hour vocal practice over at Hyori’s place. Taeyeon already automatically followed into step as Jessica exited the apartment and bid their goodbyes to the professor.

A minute later and Taeyeon had the most brilliant idea of practicing their lines while trekking the busy university belt. It went smoothly at first, both exchanging lines as Taeyeon pictured every scene vividly in her mind, until Jessica’s mischievous side reared its head. She would rearrange some words in her lines and add portions that Taeyeon was sure she didn’t write into script.

“Me?” Jessica says with mock innocence. It was Taeyeon’s turn to slap her arm, Jessica letting out a mixture of a laugh and a shriek as she tried to move away, not noticing how dangerously close she was to a car zipping past them. “Okay, okay! I concede!”

Taeyeon closed the distance between them and moved past Jessica so she was walking on the side of the street next to the traffic instead. She was starting to notice the small clumsy moments from her co-star and she was just trying to keep her in one piece, at least until they reached the dormitories. Jessica noticed the gesture once more and muttered a soft thanks with pink dusting her cheeks.

“You really thought I wouldn’t notice you adding that line from Lion Heart? Have you forgotten that I wrote the whole screenplay for both musicals?”

“Oh, I remember alright.” She playfully smirked. “It’s just fun seeing your flabbergasted reactions whenever I change it up. You should have seen your face. You looked like this cute, disgruntled puppy.” 

Taeyeon was probably doing the exact look Jessica described but she pursued and replied, “You’re a tormentor, that’s what you are. But at least you called me cute, so I’ll take it as a win anyway.” She knew she was smiling dorkily now but she couldn’t care less when another blush rose from Jessica’s neck and overtook her face. 

“That’s all you got from everything I said? That you’re cute?” Jessica scoffed. “How do you always end up being the one teasing me in the end?”

“Now _that_ is a trade secret, Princess.” Taeyeon winked at her, Jessica huffing at her reply before rolling her eyes and upping her pace, leaving the other girl behind. Taeyeon just laughed as she tried to catch up with the obviously annoyed princess.

“What floor are you in? I’ll walk you,” Taeyeon offered as they near the boarding houses.

“If I tell you, will you carry me all the way up to my room?” Taeyeon shook her head at the ridiculous request. 

Once a princess, always a princess. 

“Sure. Whatever her royal highness needs.” She bowed with her hand on her chest like an actual butler, both of them laughing at the silly role-play.

“Jessica!” A voice called from up ahead, breaking their laughter. Taeyeon looks up, realizing it was someone else who spoke and finds a boy standing in front of the entrance to the dorms, smiling widely at the girl walking beside her. 

Jessica’s head snapped up in recognition. “Taecyeon? What are you doing here?”

The boy, Taecyeon, smiles as they close in. “I was waiting for you. I was wondering if you were up for some coffee?”

Taeyeon’s brow immediately shot up. She didn’t know much about Jessica’s personal life but it wouldn’t be too far-fetched to think of this stranger as her boyfriend. Tall, slightly muscular build and a handsomely clean face. It wasn’t hard to imagine them together either, she’d just have to ignore the intense twinge in her chest at the thought.

“Oh, you didn’t have to wait here the whole time. You could have texted me instead,” Jessica timidly replied.

“I know. But I just wanted to see you right away.” Even his smile was attractive, deep dimples appeared on his cheeks. If only Taeyeon actually looked at Jessica right now, she would have noticed the lack of a blush from the latter.

Starting to feel left out, Taeyeon touched the other girl’s elbow, her usual spot now, successfully grabbing her attention. “Hey. I’m gonna head in now, okay?”

“Oh, yeah sure. Okay.” Was it her imagination or did Jessica sound kind of sad? She decided not to linger and brushed the possibility away.

After a second of internal debate, Taeyeon takes off her own scarf and wraps it around Jessica’s neck after noticing the girl didn’t have enough layers on for the current weather yet again. Lastly, she lends her cap, snuggly fitting it onto the blonde’s head. Taeyeon gives one last look before nodding her head in approval and muttering a soft goodbye, also bowing a little to the other boy and finally entering the building.

She had an urge to look back, something magnetizing her to do so. But she fought back, not wanting to witness any more intimate moments. She sighed, when did she even start having thoughts like these? 

"What are you doing to me, Jessica Jung?" She muttered to no one in particular. Just herself and the deserted corridor. 

\--

“So…”

“Spit it out, Sunkyu,” Taeyeon huffed irritatingly, before taking a swig of a… vodka mixture? Honestly she wasn’t so sure anymore, but she couldn’t care any less either.

Sunny cleared her throat, equally annoyed at the interruption. “I thought you and that popular theater kid already patched things up?”

“We did,” she curtly answered. “And her name’s Jessica. Jung. Jessica Jung.”

“Right… Jessica. Jung.” Her friend didn’t back down. “I see that you two are at least on a first-name basis now. So, why do you still refuse to go and, I don’t know, say hi to her or something?”

“I’m busy.”

The red head scoffed this time. “By busy, you mean wallowing in a corner, at a party, and creepily staring at the poor girl from afar like some lovesick idiot?”

She almost chokes on her drink. “Y-Yah. I am _not_ creepily watching her. You make me sound like a weird stalker instead of a stupid lovesick idiot, which by the way, is not the case either.”

Sunny gives her an unimpressed look, Taeyeon hated it, because she knew that none of them bought her explanation. And because yeah, she actually was doing just that, which was observing Jessica at a reasonable distance until she finally got the courage to approach her, but minus the lovesick idiot part (a lie). She doesn’t even know why she was so nervous to say a few words in greeting to the blonde. 

“Anyway, because you’re still so obviously in denial and refuse to talk like a normal human being, let's move on to another discussion.”

“Like what?”

“Like... I didn’t know Ms. Popular had a boyfriend.”

Ah. Yes. The actual reason Taeyeon suddenly turned tail after catching Jessica entering the house, hanging tightly onto the arm of the same boy, Taecyeon, and looking cozy as hell. 

Right, Jessica, boyfriend, two points that suddenly transformed Taeyeon into a headless chicken. She chuckled bitterly to herself, and to think that just a few days ago, she and Jessica were finally starting to become something akin to friends. Now, it felt like they were back to square one, except it was Taeyeon taking a step back this time.

“I didn’t either.” She takes another pitiful chug, the liquid burning down her throat, she openly invites the sensation.

“I guess now is the chance for you to actually confirm it.”

“Now why would I want to do that?” She side-eyed her friend, dubious at the suggestion.

“Because she’s currently heading over here and her eyes are definitely locked in our direction?”

“Wait, what?” That finally made Taeyeon look back up and regard her surroundings, and just like Sunny said, Jessica was walking— more like strutting— towards them. “Ah shit, shit! Sunny, hide me,” she whisper-shouted. 

“What the fuck are you doing?!” Sunny whisper-shouted right back. 

“I’m not ready!” She looked to her left then right, trying to find a possible escape route.

“Not ready for what, Taeyeon?” Too late, _fuck._ “Hey, are you okay?” Jessica asked after noticing the disheveled state from the raven.

“Uhm…” She felt a drop of sweat roll down from the side of her forehead. “Yeah, yeah. I’m okay! H-Hey Sic- _Jessica._ Fancy meeting you here," she says as Sunny uses the opportunity to sneakily dash away. That little… Taeyeon was going to deal with her later.

“Oh? No more nicknames? Are you really alright, Taeyeon?” The blonde touches her forehead using the back of her hand for good measure and Taeyeon almost combusts on the spot. She immediately takes a hold of Jessica’s hand and lowers it hastily before letting go. She decidedly chooses to ignore the slight look of dejection on the other girl’s face.

“Y-Yeah, I just probably drank a bit too much.” It wasn't a complete lie. Her alcohol tolerance wasn't something commendable. 

"Oh. Okay. Well, I just wanted to come over and say hi. I didn't think I'd be seeing you at a place like this." Jessica gestured around the rowdy frat house where the party was currently held at. 

"Y-Yeah, I don't usually take part in things like... these." She rubbed the back of her neck. "A friend of mine invited me over with a vague threat over my head."

The blonde giggled at that. "That definitely explains it. Kim Taeyeon, the shut-in, actually out in the open." 

She cracked a smile at the jab. "You make me sound like such a recluse." 

"No one's ever even supposedly met the elusive KTY until now, you know. And well…" Jessica started shyly. "I feel like I haven't seen you around much at all these days, except during rehearsal, I guess."

"Ah." She wasn't sure how to respond. Hell, she didn't even think the blonde would have actually noticed her… evasion for the past week much. She was wrong about that. "Yeah, uhm. Just been... busy." 

By busy, she meant less lingering at the theater and leaving right after practice just so she could avoid witnessing a certain boy dropping by every now and then to meet her co-star with an invitation to walk back together. No more late-night monitoring. And she avoided Hyori's place whenever she knew Jessica was scheduled to arrive. She internally sighed. Taeyeon knew it was cowardly but this was her first time dealing with something like this. 

Feelings and expression were rarely seen in the same lighting in Taeyeon’s case.

“Oh. I see, then—" Jessica's words get cut off as someone called for her from the other side of the room.

“Jess! You have to come see this!” Shouted Taecyeon, motioning for Jessica excitedly.

Taeyeon forced a smile. “You should get back to your boyfriend. I’ll see you around, Sica.”

“My what? Tae—” She doesn’t stay long enough to hear Jessica’s confused question, already a distance away and on the hunt for some fresh air to help clear her mind. 

Taeyeon almost knocked over the long-abandoned bottle of vodka sitting by her side on the tiled roof, swiftly grabbing its neck whilst it rolled off and truly left her alone. She didn’t even know why she brought it along with her when she didn’t want to drink in the first place, but the allegory of it somehow made her feel a little more content. She sighed into the night air, somberly watching the mix of drunk and stupid students doing every single cliche college party activity down at the ground.

Being this high up gave Taeyeon some reprieve from all that craze. She realized early on that this type of scene was just not for her. If it wasn’t for Sunny and her need for intoxication, she would rather be caught dead than be here as the designated caretaker responsible to bring her friend back home in one piece. Gods, she was too good to her friends.

She’s thankful that Sunny showed her this secret niche though, the redhead knowing how much Taeyeon needed her space. You’d think she and her friends actually owned the house when its own residents were not even aware of it.

A persistent buzz in her jean pocket broke her reverie. Retrieving her phone, she was welcomed with a barrage of messages from an obviously inebriated Sunny.

_Sunkyu: Wer r u?_   
_Sunkyu: Yah_   
_Sunkyu: Kim Taeyeon answer ur phone_   
_Sunkyu: Did u actually go home and leave me????_

The raven couldn’t hold back an eyeroll. Her friend was so sensitive when drunk. She shrugged and leisurely typed back a reply.

_Taeyeon: Still here, rooftop_   
_Sunkyu: Oh k_   
_Taeyeon: Text me when you’re ready to go_   
_Sunkyu: In a bit_   
_Sunkyu: Oh and that Jessica Jung chick was asking 4 u btw_

Jessica was looking for her? She was curious as to why but she also wasn’t in the right headspace to face her just yet.

_Taeyeon: Did she need anything?_  
 _Sunkyu: All I could remember was her saying need to talk to Taeyeon_  
 _Sunkyu: Also_  
 _Sunkyu: I told her where u were_  
 _Taeyeon: You what?!_   
_Taeyeon: Lee Sunkyu! Why would you tell her that??_  
 _Sunkyu: She sounded kind of desperate ok! Just relax and talk to her properly dumbdumb_

“Easy for you to say,” she muttered to herself. 

Unlike earlier, she was now starting to feel panicked. All the respite instantly vanished as she hurriedly tried to get up and out of this place. Fuck Sunny, she was getting out with or without her.

Due to her haste, she accidentally steps on the wrong tile and feels her foot slip and… _oh no._ She braced herself for the impact, it wasn’t going to be pleasant. She was probably going to end up with broken bones, seriously, fuck Sunny. But then the crash never came. 

She belatedly noticed the hands holding tightly onto her own forearm, helping her bring back some lost balance. Taeyeon quickly looked up and was met with a pair of frightened, stormy eyes.

“S-Sica…”

“Yah! Be careful!” She says almost hysterically, aware of the possibility that could have happened if she didn’t arrive in time.

She helped Taeyeon steady herself back up, half her body was outside the window reaching out. Once finally stable, Taeyeon lets herself drop and sit on the window ledge, Jessica following suit. The two simply allowed each other to take a breather. The trepidation on Jessica’s face was starting to dissipate but the hand that still held onto Taeyeon’s bicep had yet to loosen up.

Taeyeon lets out a nervous chuckle after a few seconds. “S-Sorry. That was a close call. Th-thanks, Sica.”

The blonde finally released a relieved sigh before cracking the smallest smile and letting go of her arm. “And here I thought I was the clumsy one between us. What were you even doing?”

The question caught Taeyeon flailing for a response. “I was, uhm…” 

Jessica sighed once more, easily catching on. “Trying to run away from me again?” she finished for her.

“Was I that obvious?”

“Taeyeon,” Jessica uttered in all seriousness, “I literally saw you hastily dashing out from Professor Hyori’s apartment every single time I reached her floor. And if that wasn’t indication enough, then you suddenly not being an annoying ass definitely confirmed it for me.”

“Oh…” She felt embarrassed, to say the least. To think she actually considered she was discreet about her avoidance.

“You don’t have to cover it up,” Jessica says, resting her head onto her forearms and looking out into the night sky. “Truthfully, I just wanted to know why. That’s why I came looking for you.”

The playwright nervously fidgeted with the sleeves of her sweater. “To be completely honest with you, I didn’t know the reason why I avoided you either. At first anyway.”

Jessica switched her gaze back to Taeyeon, listening intently. The full attention made the raven conscious of herself, but at the same time encouraged her to be more open. It was now or never. 

_Okay, here we go._

“I guess... at first, I just thought I had this small theater crush on you. Although I do think close to half of the campus population felt the same way as I did.” She chuckled a bit. “Your talent, your dedication to your passion. You just… completely _captivated_ me, Sica.”

The girl beside her started to blush at the words but nudged Taeyeon to keep going.

“And then I saw you with _him,_ and it made me realize how much that small crush grew in just a short amount of time. So I ran away, scared I’d make a huge mistake.”

The confusion was evident, a frown adorning Jessica’s face. Taeyeon wanted to simply reach out, but she couldn’t.

“What do you mean? Mistake, how?”

“Something like this.” Taeyeon invaded Jessica’s space all of a sudden, her face just inches away, eyes deliberately dropping to the blonde’s lips. Jessica’s eyes widened in alarm, flinching a little but not showing any sign of stopping Taeyeon. “But don’t worry, I’m not going to do it.” She smiled wistfully.

She was about to draw back but Jessica’s hand on her wrist stops her.

“Why not?” Jessica was yet to move away, her breath practically tickling Taeyeon’s face and putting her in a semi-trance.

“Wh-what?” Taeyeon spluttered. 

The blonde’s reply made her wonder if she was drunker than she first thought. 

“Do it,” Jessica urged, voice molten.

“B-But, you, a-and Taecyeon—”

“—Are close friends. He’s not my boyfriend, Tae.”

“Close friend...” she repeated, the implication slowly dawning on her.

Jessica just rolled her eyes, exasperated, before cupping Taeyeon’s cheeks, literally putting matters into her own hands, and finally closing the small distance between them herself. 

“S-Sica?” Taeyeon’s surprised squeal gets muffled as Jessica presses her lips against hers. 

Taeyeon briefly watched Jessica’s face before fully shutting her eyes and following her lead. The kiss was simple but its effect was electrifying. It went on like that for a while, leisurely meeting each other’s lips for the first time. She tucks a hand on Jessica’s waist, their bodies now flushed against each other. 

The sound of the party below did little to put a stop to their liplock. Taeyeon’s fingers ghosting against Jessica’s clothed middle, making the latter’s breath hitch and releasing a small sound. Taeyeon wanted to hear it again. 

Jessica was the first to move back, Taeyeon unconsciously chasing after her. Jessica giggled at the trance-like reaction.

“Was that okay?” The blonde asked, her thumb gently tracing Taeyeon’s cheek.

“Are you really asking me that right now?” She was still breathing hard.

The silly retort brought out a warm smile from Jessica. They stay like that for a moment, just basking and taking each other in, Taeyeon nestling her cheek further into Jessica’s hand.

“You captivate me too, Taeyeon.” The sincere statement makes Taeyeon grin dorkily.

“Sica, I...I want to get to know you better.”

“I do too, but can we take things slow? We’re still working on the musical and all. It’s my number one priority at the moment, and I’m not sure what I can give you right now.”

“Slow, we can do that,” she reassured the blonde. “And don’t worry, I already told you before, I know how important this musical is to you, so no worries there. It’s the same way with me.”

“Glad we’re on the same page then.”

The theater major was leaning in once more, their proximity getting closer and closer. Until Taeyeon’s phone started buzzing in between them. Taeyeon groaned, already aware of who was messaging her right now. Jessica just giggled before giving her a small peck on the lips.

“We should probably get going,” Jessica says.

“Fine,” she conceded. “Responsibility calls.”

Jessica takes Taeyeon’s outstretched hand before walking back into the party. Taeyeon was still trying to take in everything that just happened, almost disbelievingly. She shakes her head, it was truly quick just how the night changes.

\--

They date, sort of, in between chaotic rehearsals and academics, they somehow found time to get together and talk over hot coffee (a must, according to Taeyeon). So that’s exactly why Jessica packed an extra thermos of caffeinated hydration every morning. All for her favorite playwright.

“My saviour! I was on the verge of dying there.” Taeyeon pecked her cheek in greeting before hastily moving on to consume the drink.

“Careful, it’s—”

“Hot, hot!” 

“—hot…” Jessica didn’t hold back her laughter at the lumbering Taeyeon trying to cool off her scalded tongue, who was now also sulking. 

Jessica shakes her head before retrieving a bottle of water from her bag and handing it to the semi-injured girl.

“How are you this clumsy? Am I rubbing off on you or something?”

Taeyeon chuckled. “Or something.”

Taeyeon started to walk Jessica to her first class of the day, the former’s own schedule was yet to begin in half an hour. 

If anyone asked what her favorite thing about (sort of) dating Taeyeon was, she’d definitely say this: Sauntering the early morning university hallways, Taeyeon never missed the opportunity to hear about Jessica’s latest everything. Fifteen minutes felt so much longer, and in that good, time-stilling way she only ever read in fiction or seen in movies.

In return, Jessica surprised the raven with a lingering kiss on the corner of her lips before entering her classroom, leaving Taeyeon standing there, wide-eyed and cheeks pink. 

It was really fun when the tables were turned.

\--

The exhaustion pierced through her hamstrings, moving upwards to the rest of her body. Jessica was dead tired and in need of a cool surface. The theater floor sufficed, for now. She felt a second, familiar presence lie down next to her. Jessica didn’t need to look to know who it was.

“It’s official, blocking actually trumps Wansun’s hell-on-earth she calls a dance class,” Taeyeon protested with a heavy sigh.

Jessica sniggered. “Wait till we get to dress rehearsals. Those still wear the heck out of me.”

“Oh no, if dress rehearsals can shake the Golden Girl, then what about me? A mere padawan!” She sighed once more, resolutely.

The dramatic display made Jessica roll her eyes. She found herself doing that a lot around the raven, but most of the time, it was a fond one. 

"You're going to do great. Trust me." Jessica sits up and tries but fails to fix her bangs. "Actually, you already are doing that, you know. Being great and all."

Taeyeon bends upwards, knees touching Jessica's, both equally marred with bruises. They fit that way, she mused. Taeyeon reached out and fixed her bangs for her, doing a much better job than her own haphazard ways. 

She tipped her chin up, moving closer, enjoying the feel of Taeyeon's fingers and just her attention in general. Taeyeon was really good at that, making her feel like a priority. 

"If Golden Girl commends me, then who am I not to believe her?" 

Taeyeon gave a satisfied grin once Jessica's fringe looked presentable enough. 

"Taeyeon-ah." The girl just hummed in response, awaiting. "Why Golden Girl?"

It's been a burning question in the back of head since the first time Taeyeon called her that. All the other nicknames were easy to deconstruct but she was yet to solve the meaning behind this one. 

"Hmm," Taeyeon touched her chin in lieu of deep thought. "Because of the color of your hair?" she pitched. 

"Yah! I'm serious."

"I'm kidding!" The raven chuckled in delight at the successful quip. "But if you must know, it isn't as deep as you think it is."

"Still. Tell me?" 

Somehow, Taeyeon moved even closer. Her knee was practically leaning on Jessica's lap now. 

"Let's see…" she bared a contemplative look, almost as if reliving the past. "The first time I ever saw you perform, it was in Anastasia. You weren't as adept like you are now, but that young Jessica Jung already outshined everyone on stage. I couldn't look at anyone else but you, a living golden star."

Her eyes grew wide. "Tae, that was years ago. I—" She bit on her lower lip. "You've believed in me since then?" 

The look on her Taeyeon's face already said it all. Eyes sparkling with sincerity, her usual cocky grin replaced by a bashful one instead. It felt _amazing._ So this was how it felt like to be the center of someone you were starting to care so deeply for. 

It was exhilarating, addictive. 

"I did. And know that I always will." She raised Jessica's hand, kissing her knuckles softly. 

It wasn't a promise. It was a declaration. Jessica didn't find it difficult to believe her. 

\--

Whenever Taeyeon wasn't breaking her bones rehearsing in the amphitheater, she usually finds herself two floors above her own dorm room. One that belonged to a certain Jessica Jung, who also had the rare privilege of being the sole resident in her four walled chamber. 

"How do you survive keeping up with performing _and_ prelims at the same time?" Taeyeon queried from the bed, her textbooks strewn over the lilac sheets. 

Jessica cooly raised her head from her own book, a novel actually, because— _Oh, I've already finished my advanced reading_ — and is just a plain genius that way. 

"It's all about preparation and planning, I guess," Jessica shrugged and said matter-of-factly.

See? _Genius._

"I wish I had even half the concentration and coherent organization that your brain seems to possess."

"Maybe if you actually chose a major already, you wouldn't need to jump from subject to subject. You're still only one person, Tae."

"Huh. Touche."

It wasn't too long ago that Jessica found out about her academic predicament, and the blonde has been subtly nagging her to finally make a decision already because— _We only have less than three years left in this school, Tae._

And she was right. If only it was as easy for her indecision. 

"Have you at least given it more thought now?" 

Jessica abandoned her book on the desk, relocating to the bed and promptly stacking the scattered textbooks, careful to bookmark each page it was open in. Taeyeon smiled at her sheepishly, grateful all the same. 

"With how many times you've reminded me, it would be impossible not to." 

"And? Anything new?" 

"Believe it or not, I'm leaning into Theater Arts," Taeyeon revealed for the first time and just as she expected, an ear-piercing shriek followed right after.

“Yah!” Jessica holds onto her shoulders, eyes wide and smiling from ear-to-ear. “You’re serious? This isn’t a joke, right?”

The excitement from the other girl flowed all the way over to her own body. This was an even better reaction than she ever could have anticipated.

“Let’s just say that a certain theater major overachiever inspired me a lot.” Taeyeon reached out and tucked a lock of the blonde’s hair behind her ear, fingers lingering. “You know, I used to hate the limelight. I didn’t want to be seen in general. But now, I have exceptions for a certain few.”

“Like who?” Jessica’s voice was low as a whisper, her gaze attentive.

Her lips curl up into a smirk. “Wouldn’t you like to know,” she teased.

“Taeyeeooon,” Jessica cutely whined.

“You,” she finally gave away. “I wanted you to see me. Still do.”

Jessica’s eyes held an intensity Taeyeon’s never seen before. The weight in the room felt like it doubled in size. Taeyeon didn’t want it to end, she wanted to drown in it for much longer. 

“I see you, Taeyeon. I do.”

Taeyeon doesn’t let her say anything else as she seals Jessica’s mouth with her own, unable to stop. Jessica’s arms envelop around her neck, pulling her closer until they fall flat on the bed, Jessica’s back hitting the soft mattress. Taeyeon breaks the kiss for a bit, her elbows leaning on both sides of Jessica’s head. She observed the girl below her, chest panting and mouth hanging open in the most compelling way. 

_Beautiful._

She wastes no more time and dives back in.

\--

Jessica was right. Taeyeon did survive dress rehearsals, barely, but still alive. 

And now they were at the final leg of the series. 

_Ladies and gentlemen, it’s showday._

It felt just like yesterday when Taeyeon first saw that fated sheet of paper pinned on the bulletin board. She was only supposed to check out the final cast but was given the biggest scare of her life instead. It was kind of funny, now that she thought about it.

Who would have thought that wallflower Kim Taeyeon would find herself in her own makeshift dressing room she shared with two other girls, applying the last bit of make-up before the fifteen-minute call.

“Knock, knock.”

Taeyeon looked away from the huge mirror to regard the new person at the door. 

“Delivery for Ms. Kim Taeyeon?” A tall girl asked, her eyes already locked into Taeyeon’s direction almost as if she knew who she was beforehand.

“That’s me.” 

The delivery girl smiled, her eyes crinkling into crescents. It somehow looked familiar but Taeyeon couldn’t pin down how. Their difference in height was much more considerable now that she stood in front of Taeyeon.

“Here,” the stranger handed Taeyeon a beautiful bouquet of daisies. “This is for you.”

Taeyeon’s hands slightly shook as she took a hold of the flowers. “Who are they from?”

“I think I spotted a card in there. You should check it out,” the girl advised and already turned around to leave. 

“Wait!” The other girl paused at the door and looked back, silently waiting for what Taeyeon was about to say. “Wh-what’s your name?”

At that, the girl smiled once more, almost devious this time. “Soojung. _Jung_ Soojung.”

“Jung Soojung…?” 

Soojung giggled, knowing Taeyeon was still trying to piece it altogether. The older girl was oddly really easy to read.

“Break a metaphorical leg, Taeyeon-unnie, or whatever it is you theater kids say.” She finally walks away but without adding as an afterthought, “Oh, and make things official with Jess already too! Bye unnie!”

A blush creeps from the tip of her cheeks at what the taller girl said in the end. After a moment of gaping at the door, she finally shakes her head in understanding. Right, Jessica mentioned she had a younger sister. She could definitely see the familial traits.

She belatedly remembered Soojung mentioned a card. Carefully, she searched for it and came face-to-face with a beautiful hand-written script that didn’t say all too much but was enough to render Taeyeon misty-eyed.

_Shine, Kim Taeyeon_   
_-J_

She tucked the card back in with a soft smile, her resolve amplified.

“Five minutes, everyone,” the technical director informed over the audio speakers located in each room.

Taeyeon let out a breath and headed over to the wings. She was up for the ensemble dance performance but before all that, it was Jessica who would appear first. She spots the blonde over at the other end of the stage, eyes already locked with hers. Taeyeon gives her a two-finger salute before mouthing one last message.

_“Shine.”_

Jessica nodded in understanding, a smile framing her elegant features.

“One minute.”

Taeyeon counts down the seconds in her head.

Then she was off.

Into the New World was written about two women living two completely different lives from each other, but striving for the same thing: to find their place in the world, and hopefully, to find the _them_ that was unseen all this time. 

There's a line in the beginning that they say independently. Jessica on the right and Taeyeon herself entering from the left. 

Taeyeon looked to her right, directly at Jessica, uttering each word as if it were her own. "When I become filled with a lot of thoughts from the changes I go through during life.” 

“Even if something changes me, eventually that also becomes _me,”_ Jessica delivered, her expression fitting of a woman with all the drive in the world.

“And I will find a more expanded version of myself instead of being replaced.” 

They both look up ahead now, to the crowd.

And they simultaneously say: “I will focus on the unseen side of me.” 

Four months, three days, all boiled down to a monumental show of just an hour and a half. She started a long and dizzy story, but just as fast as it went by, everything only hit Taeyeon once she returned to the stage for curtain call.

Dazzling lights, black walls, and a sea of people.

The lights shone brightly against her, she uncontrollably squinted, something she would probably never get used to. The same way goes for the sudden roar of applause when she stepped forward to take a bow. She could barely hold herself up until a hand reached out, holding onto her clammy ones. She looked behind her and found Jessica there. Then she remembered, yeah, she wasn’t alone. If it was even possible, the audience clapped even harder, each one standing for an ovation.

She knows she’s staring at Jessica now, but just like Newton’s apple, it was something beyond her reach of control. Jessica shone brightly, she was a masterpiece that magnetized Taeyeon in. It felt like floating in a sea of yellow and blue. What was that famous painting called again? 

_Starry Night._

Jessica was a starry night. It made perfect sense.

And right there still on stage, like a famous movie line, she finally gathered an enormous amount of courage to ask, “Sica, be my girlfriend.”

“What?” The blonde whipped her head in her direction so quickly, shocked then dubious.

Taeyeon laughed breezily, high on the adrenaline from… _everything._

“Be my girlfriend?” she repeated, now clearly heard.

Jessica’s grip on her hand tightened. Then she smiles, all too radiantly and outshining even the intense spotlight. Taeyeon almost needed to look away, slightly perturbed that the myth of Icarus was true. But she steadied her gaze, almost like a need. 

Taeyeon didn’t burn.

“Took you long enough,” Jessica’s tone was teasing but her smile was warm and sincere. “Yes, Kim Taeyeon.”

Taeyeon grins back then waits for the curtains to close on them, before finally tugging on Jessica’s hand, the blonde falling into Taeyeon. Then she kisses her.

She feels Jessica smile into the kiss. Taeyeon grins right back.

_Outtake: _  
“I see that you actually heeded my advice, Taeyeon-unnie,” Soojung said in greeting upon Jessica and Taeyeon reaching her spot in the theater seats. Every other friend and family was busy congratulating the rest of the cast members.__

__“Oh,” Taeyeon uttered sheepishly, her hand rubbing a spot behind her neck. “Yeah… I still don’t know what kind of confidence serum I consumed, but I finally asked Sica to be my girlfriend.”_ _

__Jessica on the other hand, had the opposite reaction, eyebrow cocked and questioning. “Yah, Soojung. How did you even know we already made things official? We haven’t told you that yet.”_ _

__The taller girl sniggered. “If you two walking towards me hand-in-hand wasn’t indication enough, then that final unscripted kiss in the end definitely sealed the deal for me.”_ _

__“Wh-what?” Jessica flustered about._ _

__“You two really thought no one caught Taeyeon-unnie leaning in for a kiss right when the curtains closed?” Soojung sneered then rolled her eyes. “Neophytes, _cute.”__ _

__“Yah, Jung Soojung!”_ _

__Taeyeon shook her head in amusement. Yeah, she could definitely spot the familial traits._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That line Jessica and Taeyeon say during the play was from Taeyeon's Purpose album. Also drew lots of line references from Jessica's song Starry Night and Taeyeon's Curtain Call.
> 
> Title of course, is from the HSM song What I've Been Looking For: "So good to be seen, so good to be heard."
> 
> This is probably the last of the HSM AU but if inspiration overtakes, I may add some short future ficlets in this universe. 
> 
> Thank you again for reading <3


	7. My Favorite Moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Girls’ Generation’s leader, Kim Taeyeon, she’d say she was fair and that she didn’t have a favorite amongst her members. 
> 
> As normal, dork, Kim Taeyeon, she’d silently confess in the dark recesses of her mind that her favorite was Im Yoona.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short Yoontae for the soul and also because I promised to write them more. 
> 
> Title from the TTS song whisper.

As Girls’ Generation’s leader, Kim Taeyeon, she’d say she was fair and that she didn’t have a favorite amongst her members. 

"So, Girls' Generation... or me?" 

Taeyeon groans at the ridiculous question.

"Yoong, stop this already. You're literally a member of the group. And have you forgotten that _I'm_ part of it too?" 

"I know.” She releases an indignant whine. “Still, answer the question." 

No, she will not answer that question. Not if she wanted to stay alive and _not_ get beaten up by seven other girls who were, with much emphasis, a whole lot taller than her (sans Sunkyu).

But Taeyeon knew Yoona very well. 

And she knew exactly what the younger girl was going to do next and— yeap! There it is, the magical Yoona pout that Taeyeon swears she's immune to but still falls for _every_ single time. 

"Gahh! Stop!" She looks away and deliberately tries to cover the whole of Yoona's face. Until she feels slightly larger hands lace into her own before gently pushing them down. 

"Taeng?" 

Taeyeon refuses to look. 

“Look at me, please?” her voice was soft, a whisper.

She couldn’t deny the command, she never could. Slowly, carefully, she turns her head to regard Yoona. Taeyeon was expecting a teasing expression but was faced with a look she’s seen on Yoona many times before, one that she only gave Taeyeon and not anyone else.

Wonder, adoration, _love._

“You already know my answer,” she uttered quietly, her eyes still locked on the girl she loved more than anyone.

A big, sincere smile blooms on Yoona’s face. Yoona told her once before that an honest Taeyeon was always the best Taeyeon. What she didn’t know: Taeyeon could never be untruthful towards her anyways.

“I know. Your favorite is Sooyoung-unnie,” Yoona remarks teasingly. 

Taeyeon frowns at first, then laughs, understanding the joke tucked in there, and at Yoona with her arms dramatically propped over her forehead like she was in one of those 80’s soap operas. This time, it was Taeyeon who had the same look that was on Yoona’s face earlier on.

As normal, dork, Kim Taeyeon, she’d silently confess in the dark recesses of her mind that her favorite was Im Yoona. 

It wasn’t a secret anyway, no matter how hard she tried to hide it. 

-

Not like anyone in the close-knit group didn’t already know, but Taeyeon liked to think she was sleek about her adoration for the younger girl. To say she was whipped for her band member was both accurate _and_ an understatement.

Yes, she was definitely whipped. How could she not be when the younger girl was as beautiful as she was kind. Eccentric a lot of times but it was what drew Taeyeon to her even more. She didn’t have any right not to when she shared the same level of peculiarity anyways. 

Maybe that was why they clicked.

At the same time, whipped was too simple of a word to describe the immense feeling that overtakes Taeyeon’s chest whenever she thinks of her favorite. 

This is how she writes her first love song.

"Gemini? Seriously?" Tiffany barely conceals her snicker, Taeyeon grumbling in annoyance. 

"It was the best I could think of!" 

"Taeyeon-ah," her best friend dramatically pauses, "it's like you're practically entitling this song as 'Y-O-O-N-A' in big bold letters. Could you be any more obvious?"

How the _hell_ does she see through Taeyeon that easily? 

"It's not just that. Anyone with eyes and a brain can figure it out."

"So you can read minds now too," Taeyeon mutters underneath her breath.

"Not just anyone's mind. Yours specifically." She smiles that dazzling one of hers, eyes disappearing into crescents. 

Taeyeon looks away. 

She doesn't change the title.

She's fifty percent regretting that decision as her members each message her in various ways of words and emojis that all translate into one message: "We know, Taeyeon." 

The other half is happy with the title and song itself. Her grin doesn't disappear as she reads and rereads the current message on her phone. 

_Yoongie: My favorite track is Gemini unnie :))_

Maybe she could keep up this songwriting gig after all. 

The soul-baring process of writing down everything Taeyeon's tried so hard to lock up inside got less difficult. As long the results ended with a deer-like girl watching her eagerly on stage performing her self-proclaimed favorite song because— _"Unnie, I'm a Gemini. The only one in the group too, by the way. It's obviously about me."_

Taeyeon doesn't retaliate. Instead, she makes the song a permanent part of any concert setlist she ever creates. 

\--

A boiling pot of water, one egg, and a topping of cheese. The perfect Taeng-Ramen. 

Tiffany would argue that it tastes just like any other instant ramen out there but Taeyeon knows it's different. She fights back that she cooks it with a certain person in mind. That in itself makes the process all the more special. Instead of cooing at the endearing reason, her best friend laughs at her face and doesn't stop even after Taeyeon threatens she'd never cook for the American girl ever again. Like Tiffany ever needed Taeyeon to cook for her anyway. 

Her head snaps up from the pot of steaming noodles when the faint sound of their dorm room unlocking echoes throughout the hall. 

_01:20 AM_

Same as yesterday, and the other day, and the other…

"Taeng-unnie?" Yoona pops out from the dimly lit corridor, the kitchen lights bouncing off her exhausted face that transforms into a soft grin once she catches sight of the food. "Is that for me?" 

"Yeah, you're just in time. Come take a seat." 

The blonde carefully places the pot on the dining table that still looks brand new because they barely use it these days. The younger girl plops down on the seat across after haphazardly throwing her coat away. Yoona's soft smile never leaves as she watches Taeyeon meticulously prepare a bowl and utensils just for her. 

"My Taeyeon-unnie who always takes good care of her dongsaeng, Yoona."

Taeyeon cocks her eyebrow in Yoona's direction. "You're talking in third person now too?" 

"Yeah." Yoona's smile turns into a teasing one. "I know you find it cute even if you refuse to say it outloud." 

Taeyeon chuckles as she puts the right amount of noodles and soup ratio onto Yoona's bowl. 

"You don't understand. I have a reputation, Yoong."

"Right… You mean the cool, chic, leader thing? Everyone's already seen the real dork beneath all that, unnie."

"Not that reputation." The confused look on Yoona makes Taeyeon laugh again. "I meant the _'I'm the leader who loves all her members equally'_ reputation."

At that, Yoona's whole demeanor lights up as she breaks into raucous laughter, her hand barely concealing her mouth that was wide open. 

"Oh unnie," she says as her laughter finally dies down, even wiping a stray tear from her eye. "We all know you love us equally, that includes me." 

Taeyeon’s forehead creases. "What do you mean?" 

A thumb flattens the confused knot, Yoona retracting her hand slowly. "You love all eight of us equally, yes that includes Tiffany-unnie, and everyone knows that but…" She pauses then smiles again, "The love you have for me is simply _different_."

Taeyeon chuckles, albeit nervously. She knew she was found out but the stubbornness in her just wouldn't pack its bags and go away or something. 

"That's one way to put it."

"What, did you want me to say that you loved me in a very…" she puts her fingers up and does a quoting gesture, "non-platonic way?" 

Taeyeon rolls her eyes at the display before looking down, staring holes at the napkin on the table, unable to look the younger girl in the eyes. "Well, this was definitely not how I planned my confession to go about." 

"Oh? You were going to confess to me? Really, _really?_ " Her tone sounded excited but honestly surprised at the same time. 

After mustering enough courage to look back up, Taeyeon couldn't help but laugh at the disbelief blatantly written all over on the other girl's face. She flicks her forehead, Yoona shrieking and instantly pouting. Taeyeon felt a lot less nervous now.

"Yeah. Really, _really._ But you already let the cat out of the bag before I could even fully get over my nerves and just say it myself first."

“But unnie,” she continues pouting, “you haven’t even said _it_ yet. Outloud, anyway.”

“Said what?” Taeyeon says playfully.

“Unnieee,” the top star idol/actress/model whines, complete with the famous Yoona scowl.

It was Taeyeon’s turn to do something to get rid of that wry face. She leans down, her arm supporting herself on the kitchen table and moving in to place a soft kiss on the younger girl’s forehead.

“I like you, Im Yoona. More than that even, that I sometimes find myself struggling to breathe with a simple thought of you.”

There were stars in Yoona’s eyes, her lips curling into the most amazing smile. “Show me,” she breathes out, “that you mean it.”

There was only one way Taeyeon could think of to do just that. She leans further down, Yoona tilting her neck upwards and meeting her halfway. Taeyeon meets Yoona’s lips for the first time. Her soft palms cup the younger girl’s cheeks, keeping her in place.

_Stay,_ she almost breathes into the kiss.

Somehow, Yoona understood.

Taeyeon breaks the kiss for a while, panting once she pulls back. “You were wrong by the way.”

“Huh?” was Yoona’s dazed answer. It makes Taeyeon giggle like a silly schoolgirl.

“About my favorite.”

“Oh, that.” 

Taeyeon squeaks in surprise as Yoona’s unbelievably hefty arms pull at her waist, Taeyeon falling into her lap. Yoona steadies her and locks her hands behind the small of Taeyeon’s back, then looks into her eyes with an apologetic smile before leaning in once more.

“I know,” Yoona says into her lips. 

Of course she knew. Taeyeon was never good at keeping secrets anyway.

Off the record: Favorite was too average of a word to explain what Yoona was to Taeyeon.


End file.
